Dream of my old love
Jan. 24th, 2004 05:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vaneramosEarly this morning I awoke from a dream about sex with Dan. I don't remember any details, but I felt a strange hollowness, as if I missed him.
It's almost exactly five years since we broke up for the last time. I have dated a few decent guys, but none could replace him. I often worried I would never feel that way again.
What I feel now, for the gentle man sleeping beside me while I dreamt, is still different. My heart didn't fall out of the bottom of my chest cavity for him the way it did the instant I laid eyes on Dan. This time love came steadily and kindly despite mutual protestations that we wanted only friendship. I feel less need and dependency, more pleasure and confidence. Danny is the first man I do not habitually compare to Dan, because the comparison is irrelevant. But he is taking Dan's place in a way no one else has.
Waking for a few moments in the night I felt lonely for my old love because, at last, I have found something that makes me happier. I have tried to move on and say goodbye for five years. The last regrets are finally waving, with a wistful smile, out the back window of my soul.
Significantly, I would not have remembered this dream unless![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ghostsandrobots had posted a (filtered) poem that recalled it. Girl, we have too many wires crossed.
It's almost exactly five years since we broke up for the last time. I have dated a few decent guys, but none could replace him. I often worried I would never feel that way again.
What I feel now, for the gentle man sleeping beside me while I dreamt, is still different. My heart didn't fall out of the bottom of my chest cavity for him the way it did the instant I laid eyes on Dan. This time love came steadily and kindly despite mutual protestations that we wanted only friendship. I feel less need and dependency, more pleasure and confidence. Danny is the first man I do not habitually compare to Dan, because the comparison is irrelevant. But he is taking Dan's place in a way no one else has.
Waking for a few moments in the night I felt lonely for my old love because, at last, I have found something that makes me happier. I have tried to move on and say goodbye for five years. The last regrets are finally waving, with a wistful smile, out the back window of my soul.
Significantly, I would not have remembered this dream unless
ghostsandrobots had posted a (filtered) poem that recalled it. Girl, we have too many wires crossed.
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no subject
Date: 2004-01-24 03:41 pm (UTC)Thank you for sharing this.
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Date: 2004-01-24 04:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-26 09:49 am (UTC)We are both lucky.
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Date: 2004-01-26 11:15 am (UTC)