Woof!

( 3 photos )

I am always peaceful in the forest. I can feel the shackles falling away when I leave the main road and pad down a trail carpetted with pine needles. There is some symbolism in that about my life: leaving the main path. It's like Brenna says: "more at home."

Where my mind is at ease, I remember names.

Yesterday on the way to take my daughters home, we drove to the corner of Queen and Spadina in Toronto and wandered for 45 minutes through the alleys full of graffiti art. I did not take any pictures. I gave Marian my camera. It was her day. I think she was impressed. She could read most of the cryptic, stylized lettering. She didn't say much, just took lots of pictures. I'll put the images on a CD and mail them to her.

I stopped at Danny's last night, slept like a rock, and came home this morning.

One year on LJ

One year ago today vaneramos joined LiveJournal and the world (at least his world) has never been the same. To mark this occasion we are publishing an interview with Van. And where else?

Why on earth did you join LJ?

About five years ago I used to contribute to a web site called Themestream, which actually paid you every time someone viewed one of your postings. Not only was it a nice way to earn a little money, but it fostered a community of writers who read and commented on one another's work. When the internet economy crashed, Themestream folded overnight. The community went into a frenzy as friends searched anxiously for one another's email addresses and found other ways of staying in touch. I joined an email distribution group, and for several years we carried on active, sometimes controversial, discussions about writing. One day one of my friends on the list told us she had been in touch with another ex-TSer whom most of us remembered, lisalemonjello, and that she was hanging out on a web site called LiveJournal. It looked like one of the best places on the internet to post and receive comments on writing.

My poetry writing had flagged. I knew I tended to write more when I got feedback, so I decided to join LiveJournal with the intention of writing and posting new poems regularly. It turned out another member of the email group, stephe, had recently joined LJ. He gave me an invite code and, three days after discovering LJ, I joined and posted my first new poem, Medicine dance.

Has your output of poetry increased since then?

Not really.

Has LiveJournal been a waste of time?

Frequently I spend more time than I can afford, but on the other hand it has benefited my life in many ways.

Did you know what you were getting yourself into?

No. I had no idea what a huge gay community existed on LJ. For that matter it has the largest community of bears I had ever encountered. I knew I was attracted to bears (large, hirsute gay men) ever since I came out of the closet, but never had much opportunity to interact with them until I joined LJ. This also started connecting me with another group I had sought unsuccessfully: gay writers and artists. However, I resist putting myself in a community that is uniform, superficial or overly focused on sex. LJ lets me connect with a diverse group of people.

We're talking about a virtual community here. What difference does it make in real life?

Don't dismiss virtual communities. People in Western society are increasingly isolated, but the internet provides different opportunities for relationships. The way my 12-year-old daughter dresses and the music she listens to have been influenced by people she talks to online. I could let that disturb me, or I could appreciate the fact that she has friends and is entertaining new ideas. The fact that my experience is similar makes it easier to accept. We're social creatures. It's better for us to make these connections than be alone. Besides, LJ has become part of my real-life community as I have met 14 people on my friends list, and expect to meet at least four more in the next several months. My own life has changed significantly in the past year as a result of joining LJ. It has inspired me to start taking photography seriously again. I also finished the draft of a first novel with the encouragement of other LJ writers participating in NaNoWriMo. Most important, I met djjo through LJ, and it's the first stable relationship I have had in years. Getting to know people on LJ has also helped me get a handle on polyamory, which I had thought about before but hardly discussed with anyone.

LJ sounds absolutely wonderful.

It has its downsides. The relationship dynamics are confusing. Most of my life I have felt like an outsider looking in at the world. I thought I was a better communicator in writing, but here I still have trouble. I don't know how to navigate the protocols from someone adding me to their friends list (or vice versa), to getting to know them, to transcending the barrier of superficiality, to understanding the kinks in communication. My pet peeve is when people express intense enthusiasm and then turn cold, apparently because I failed to reciprocate the emotions. I don't do online infatuation. I try to avoid drama, too. One of the most important lessons I have learned about LJ is not to take it too seriously.

What do you like best about LJ?

The photography, the opportunity to post and get feedback on my own creative work, and a handful of genuine friendships I have forged.

Who is your favourite LJer?

Uh, duh!

Which LJer would you choose to write your biography?

ghostsandrobots.

Quick: word association. Zebra?

Finch.

Bitter?

Lawngnome.

Leaf?

Miner.

Do you ever add anyone to your friends list just because he's hot?

Wouldn't that be shallow?

You didn't answer my question. How many people on your friends list would you have sex with if you had the chance?

Is this one of those stupid memes?

What's your favourite colour: black, vermilion, shiny silver, creamy purple or electric brown?

Get out of here.

Can I take your picture first?

Alright.

Will you take your shirt off?

Okay.

Now undo the top two buttons of your fly.

Like this?

Ha, I knew it! I just wanted to prove what a comment whore you are. I'm not going to take your picture.

This is my journal. If you won't take a picture I can post an old one.

It's my journal, too.

I said get out of here.

Sorry, I've got the keyboard. Hey, let go! That's it. You're gone.

"Lest our eyes be blasted forever"

This is the book meme, from lowfatmuffin:

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 23.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the whole sentence in your journal along with these instructions.

"We have really only that one light, one source for all power, and yet we must turn away from it by universal decree."

I'm so lucky it happened to be my favourite book: Pilgrim At Tinker Creek, by Annie Dillard. She was writing about the sun.