Driving in fog

Photo: Trees in the fog near Caledon yesterday.

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Yesterday I drove through fog on the way to pick up Brenna. They call Dufferin County the "roof of Ontario" and for good reason. I had to drive through clouds to get where I was going. Golden maples and trembling aspens lurched through the gloom at the roadside. Once I pulled over, got out and waded through tall weeds to photograph a barn beside brilliant foliage, muted by the mist. When I got back in the car, my overalls were drenched to the knees by moisture condensed on the grasses.

It was a good atmosphere for reflection. I made some decisions about my NaNoWriMo project. Part of the narrative will consist of a series of personal journal entries by the protagonist. For years before I started a handwritten journal in the style advocated by writers like Natalie Goldberg and Julia Cameron, I kept a devotional diary, writing down my impressions from Bible readings. Sometimes I wrote prayers. That was the only personal writing I recorded for 13 years. It doesn't reveal much about what I was doing, but elucidates my thoughts and beliefs at the time.

I remember when, shortly after my born again experience, one of my friends started talking about Creationism. We went to hear a Christian scientist explain why evolution was a lie. That was one of the hardest things for me to swallow because I had been fascinated by dinosaurs and evolution ever since I was a small boy. But swallow it I did. It's amazing what we can convince ourselves to believe when sanity and order depend on it.

Anthropologists have just announced the discovery of bones of a tiny species of human on the island of Flores in Indonesia. It is touted as the most important human fossil find in half a century. What's most remarkable about this creature is that it lived so recently, as little as 13,000 years ago. This new species, Homo floresiensis, is not a relic from the dawn of human evolution. It crossed paths with modern humans at the same as civilization was arising in the Middle East.

H. floresiensis was smaller than a modern pygmy, about 1 metre tall, the size of a three-year-old child. The adult female whose skeleton has been uncovered was about 30 years old when she died. Her species cohabited Flores with giant prehistoric rodents, a dwarf elephant, and Komodo dragons, a reptile that still inhabits Indonesia. The tiny humans and elephants are believed to have been wiped out by a volcanic eruption.

Creation science had many ways of explaining away the evidence for evolution. The truth of the Bible hinged, so they claimed, on proving that the earth was created in six days. They come up with all kinds of irrational arguments to discredit the truth. For example: that dinosaur fossils were placed there by the devil to lead us astray. I wonder what they'll have to say about H. floresiensis. Nothing new, I imagine. The lies we tell ourselves when our minds are not open.

Christianity also taught me some wisdom: about compassion for instance. And thinking about what is good and beautiful instead of what is hateful. For years I have closed down a large storehouse of experiences because of pain and grief too virulent to consider. Closing that door was necessary to distance myself and create a place of safety within my own mind.

Now I have a stronger sense of my identity. I know what I believe, and more importantly I know how to think and question things. The negative associations can't hurt me anymore. It's time to revisit those years of the past; time for reconciling different parts of myself. There are two sides to everything, maybe more.

( +2 fog photos )

Thursday night teaser; tribute to a 10-year-old

This afternoon Brenna and I went in search of a place of legendary beauty, Hockley Valley. We found an access point to the Bruce Trail and hiked along part of the Niagara Escarpment. We discovered an old wreck in the woods, which held Brenna's curiosity and my photographic interest for a considerable while.

It would be fair to say Brenna is very easygoing. It's inevitable, growing up in the shadow of an intense older sister. She's witty and inventive. Her artistic talent asserts itself moment by moment, like when she salvaged a piece of an old bicycle from underneath the car and contemplated spray-painting it. Plain and simple, Brenna is good company. She is just as determined as Marian, but it manifests as good humour rather than stubbornness. She will turn 11 in 18 days. missprune, who had never met her, once said: "Oh lucky you, to have a sweet Scorpio daughter!" I don't give astrology any credence, and yet it was a profound truth. Besides I'm a Pisces. We're two water signs; our compatibility is guaranteed. I'm treasuring this time alone with her.

The scenery was fabulous. All in all, it made a day that will live bright in memory. I'll set up a gallery and include it with tomorrow's post. For now here are a couple teasers.