Making or destroying

Finding peace along the Eramosa River this afternoon


I dreamt of doing violence: smashing, blasting, stabbing. One frame after another portrayed shattered machinery or splashes of blood, undoubtedly inspired by Dungeon Siege, which I played for 27 hours over the weekend. In the dream I was appalled.

I criticize the human inclination to separate everything into good and evil, yet here I go designating violence as bad, creativity good. I see no such directive from nature, which destroys things as quickly as they evolve. In times of environmental stability, complex systems emerge, and large, specialized organisms: dinosaurs, whales, people. After the next global upheaval we will be left with cockroaches, rats and starlings. I doubt humanity can rise to a "higher state" where acceptance and compassion reign; it has never existed, except in imagination.

This shouldn't discourage us from imagining or valueing what we will. By choice, I make peace and art.

I dreamt of a white tree full of spring blossoms amidst ruined stone walls. A wedding was supposed to be underway, but something was wrong. Guests' bodies lay scattered among spilt trays of tiny perfect sandwiches and shattered martini glasses. I had stricken everyone down.

Then I realized they were only asleep, and would soon awake.