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Affirming

Waterloo-Wellington Rainbow Chorus gave its first spring performance Sunday Morning at Parkminster United Church in Waterloo. We sang two standards, "How Different Can We Be?" (Ruth Elaine Schram) and "Let There Be Love" (Anne Murray), and two new songs, "We Shall Be Free" (Stephanie Davis, Garth Brooks) and "Music Speaks Louder Than Words" (Payne, Scarpiello and Pease).

We had performed there for a same-sex marriage last fall. The church enthusiastically responded by inviting us to participate in this service, in exchange for using their building to hold our spring concert. For the first time we will present two concerts in one weekend, June 2 in Waterloo and June 3 in Guelph.

Parkminster has just begun the affirming process. During the service, four members told coming-out stories. One was a former pastor. Another man gave gruelling testimony about rural homophobia, and undergoing shock therapy. It was intensely emotional for many listeners.

I was strangely unaffected. More concerned that the church experience might trigger a panic attack or other unpleasantness, but that didn't happen.

As for yesterday, thanks to all who offered consolation. The problem that upset me has actually resolved. I'm still mildly depressed, shell-shocked by the cascade of intense emotions.

Disappearance

I've had a weird problem for a few days with Semagic, which seems to be fixed. Unfortunately in the process I unwittingly replaced the April 14 review of My Neighbour Totoro with a more recent entry. Somehow the saved file was also substituted, so I've lost the review. I can't remember what I said, other than that I liked it best of the Miyazaki films, and was particularly impressed with the characterization of children.

Thanks to a history of depression, my memory of abstract ideas isn't good. That's one reason I write so obsessively, and never throw away a scrap. I hate losing a single phrase or image. Ten days later I remember the happiness, but it has become inexpressible.