Something beyond apathy

One of the difficulties with atheism is it draws one to the conclusion life is essentially meaningless. To suggest we're a cosmic accident is too extreme; in infinite time universes as complex as ours will likely arise based on natural laws. But those laws offer little moral guidance, besides how hard to hit the ground when we fall.

Evolutionary psychology provides some insight. If I understand why my thinking is programmed a certain way, I'll have better ideas what to do about it. But this still assumes our minds evolved for some higher purpose, and that there's intrinsic value to our existence. It would be just as reasonable to argue humans are a malignant cancer in Earth's natural order, and evolution is selfishness gone wild. Actually our presence is neither good nor bad, it just is, and what will be will be.

But I'm bothered that I don't get more excited about things like the article leafshimmer referenced yesterday: "Everything must go", an interview with apocalyptic author Derrick Jensen, who argues civilization needs to end now. I agree in part, because environmental integrity seems worthy of protection. But the atheist chimes in, "Does it really matter?" I have a hard time justifying action against human nature. I mistrust world views that include concepts of sin or moral corruption.

Still, I want to care—to find some inner fibre to motivate me in causes that interest me. Something beyond apathy. We need a measuring rod to discern human progress from stupidity.

An early 20th Century psychologist, whose name and writings escape me, argued religion was a beneficial delusion. It gave people a structure for surviving the hardships of life. Many disagree, and I know too well from experience how delusion leads a man into well-intentioned, destructive behaviour. Beneficial delusion? Why don't we all just get high?

Still I find myself looking for something: a symbol perhaps, a metaphor. Many of the wisest teachers (Jesus, for starters) understood their teachings were only fables and parables. It's not the plot that matters, but the lesson that lifts us from utter self-interest.

I'm not about to start attending church, but would like my life to be more active and directed. I'm naturally drawn to environmental issues, but can't even say where I stand on Derek Jensen's arguments. I don't know whether I'm a liberal or an anarchist, a humanist or an existentialist. When meaninglessness seems the most reasonable conclusion, the challenge is deciding what meaning to adopt. If there's one thing I want in this godless, hopeless world, it's to help make it a better place. But honestly, what is better? Maybe all this is needless worry, or an effort to make myself feel important by struggling, when the only outcome we can expect is a vast cosmic shrug.

Common whitetails, Libellula lydia, male and female: