Reptile vigilance

I may have solved the insomnia. Apparently I need music to put me back to sleep in the morning, specifically CBC Radio 2 Morning and Bob Mackowycz's trivial homilies.

For most of the year the clock radio would go off at 5:45. Ideally that provided 15 minutes of Classical music to wake me up gently, then the 6:00 news and weather. Bob's arrival on the air at 6:10 was supposed to annoy me out of bed.

Instead it put me back to sleep. I would normally doze another 45 to 75 minutes before finally rising to begin the morning routine. It wasn't ideal, but I still usually had time to shower, do some knitting and writing, eat breakfast and arrive at the shop before anyone else most days.

I didn't realize how deeply I had become conditioned to this routine. When we gained an hour on November 7, my body did not accept it. I started waking at 5 a.m., period. No radio greeted my agitated mind. By the time the music started at 5:45, apparently it was too late.

After a few days of inadequate sleep I shut off the clock radio in hope of sleeping late. It never happened. For a month I averaged five hours a night. I would stay in bed until 7, tired and restless, just not sleeping for the last two hours.

Something was wrong. I had to lie awake and worry about it. For a whole stupid month I had to lie awake brooding about every annoying little problem to figure out what detail was out of place. Exhaustion set in. Apparently reptile brain kept waiting for the music.

Sunday night, for some reason I can't recall, I set the alarm for 6:00. Monday morning, I woke at 5:00 as usual and lay awake for an hour.

The news came on.

I fell asleep.

For an hour.

Last night I set the alarm for 5:45. This time reptile brain knew what to expect. I slept until the music started, listened a few minutes, then went back to sleep and dozed until 6:45.

I always have trouble adjusting to time changes, but this was the worst I recall. Why? There are a couple of reasons. One, I'm on a lower dosage of mirtazapine, which tends to limit insomnia (going back to 60 mg a day is not a good option, but that's another story). Two, over the past year I have established a more ambitious morning routine, beyond crawling out of bed and going to work. This is important to me, but I'm still experiencing different levels of resistance, as indicated by the past month's ordeal.

What have I learned? Daylight Savings Time might change overnight, but I cannot. My Circadian rhythm is relentless. I need to be gentle and tricky. Next March and November I will try changing the alarm by 15 minutes per week over the course of a month.