Noticing shifts

Just now as I was washing up the last few dishes from my long long weekend with Danny, I thought about how much of a difference I've experienced in this mundane but important aspect of my life.

In the past I consistently left dishes sitting at least a few days. Often some would sit for several weeks. I might clean the fridge out a few times a year.

For several months now, I have consistently washed up all the dishes, and cleaned inedible food out of the fridge every week or so. This does not feel difficult or unpleasant. When Danny is here, I request his help, and he gives it without issue. I experience no inward grumbling because there is nothing to grumble inwardly about—only a neat, functional kitchen, which looks wholely unfamiliar. It would not meet my parents' meticulous standards. I am not like them, in this respect. I am simply, happily becoming an ex-slob.

You might notice a few crumbs on the floor or a grungy spot behind the sink. I like them. Sometimes a few glasses, plates and a pot sit for a day or two. They remind me why I changed: not to impress anyone's parents, but so the kitchen could be a place of making health, and making love (to myself even). Mom passed that part onto me, and I'm grateful.

Thinking about these things, I left the dishes drying on the rack, sat down to check email and found apel had serendiptiously pointed me to a post by T. Thorne Coyle, called Underestimating success. Reading this, I got a hint of how it must feel for a person overcoming body image issues to turn around, catch sight of himself in a mirror, and smile.

Interestingly, I did not set out specifically to address the matter of dishes as part of 6 Changes for 2011. It sprung naturally from clearing up other areas of clutter, and from an irresitible urge to prepare healthier, locally-sourced foods. The diet shift, in turn, arose not from specific plans, but as a spin-off from other changes, from reading, and concern about environment, health and making myself happier. The 6 Changes Method warns against tackling multiple changes at once, but I reached a point where it seemed ridiculous to delay action on certain values. Over the course of time these habits have taken root. So who needs to follow rules when the proof is in the outcome?

The process is complicated and wonderful. Will it always seem this easy? Probably not. But Coyle's ideas about shifting, noticing and integration click like Lego pieces with my experience.

Meanwhile tonight, a pot of stew simmers on the stove and the place smells tender and delicious.