Queen of Cups (Lady's Mantle)

Cups have been frequently turning up. I identify strongly with water. Also I tend to carry strong emotions but not show or express them easily.

Strong emotions are active at the moment. I am excited about my current writing assignment. A conversation on Facebook with some childhood friends has also drawn up memories. Looking back usually makes me unhappy. I am more comfortable in the present. Cups are associated with feelings and impermanence. This Queen of Cups appears grounded on her rock in the water. I've been working on keeping my feet on the ground.

This morning I was looking for guidance in managing difficult emotions, and this card turned up.

Sometime in my teens I acquired a lady's mantle plant, perhaps from Richter's Herbs. It spread happily around the garden. My mother liked it, too, and encouraged it. Lady's mantle has long been used for magical purposes. Just looking at it on a summer morning you can feel its magic. It is a profoundly beautiful plant, not for the flowers but for its neatly pleated, scalloped, downy leaves. They hold shining pearls of water like jewels, fluid emotions in a cup.

I take after my mother. She felt things intensely but did not always show her feelings or recognize their subjectivity. If she felt something, it was true. She was incredibly stubborn. This often prejudiced her toward people and situations. She was very warm toward most people, cold toward a few, and her attitude seldom changed. At times during our life together, Mom was my best friend, but we also quarreled. On two occasions we did not speak to each other for six months. The direct gaze of this Queen of Cups looks full of feeling, and she reminds me of Mom.

I recognize Mom's emotional tendencies in myself. I try not to judge. I recognize that other people's realities may differ from my own. I know situations are not necessarily how I perceive them. Still, feelings are hard to let go. I do not want past hurts to define me, but sometimes they do. Part of letting go involves accepting myself this way, letting it be, looking pain straight in the eye and trying to create something worthwhile from my inner landscape. Lady's mantle turns water (feelings) into a jewel.