The truth about me

I have never known God
or felt Jesus by my pillow.
Religion makes sense,
but I never had time for it.
I have never loved a woman
or fathered children
but that doesn't make me gay.
Life seems so simple.
Everything has always
come easily to me.
While looking after myself
always I consider
the needs and feelings of others.
My greatest strengths
are willpower and clarity.
My greatest weaknesses
are obsession and dishonesty.
You will seldom catch me
wasting time, but
if you do, I will
probably be golfing.
Some things I hate:
shellfish, Star Trek
and classical music.
Some things I love:
driving my sports car,
reality television
and Lady Gaga.
I am not allergic to anything.
Some things I want to do
before I die:
jump from an airplane,
visit Las Vegas
and run for office.
Things I would never do:
visit some god-forsaken
jungle or desert,
ride a horse
or eat raw fish.
Our best hope
of saving the planet
lies in technology.
Climate change is a lie.
All artistic endeavours
are a waste of time,
mine and yours,
particularly poetry.
No, I will never
write a poem.

Writing a poem a day in February. From a prompt: "Write a poem about yourself in which nothing is true."