Hate and indignation

[vaneramos]

Last Saturday Danny had to work. I called him just before he finished and asked if he wanted to meet somewhere. So we had dinner at Zelda's, then headed home for a quiet evening.

Riding the last few blocks on the bus, Danny had his hand on my knee and I had my arm behind his neck. We were oblivious, peaceful, comfortable together.

At the last stop before ours, somebody unboarded from the back of the bus and ran up to the window beside us. I didn't see this part, but he tried to scrawl something with his finger in the rain on the glass. Failing that, he hauled off and pounded the window as hard as he could, right beside Danny's head.

We exchanged some quiet words. I can't remember what. Danny pulled the bell for our stop and I stood up, slightly dazed.

What I remember most is the pretty, slender, dark-skinned woman standing by the wheel well behind us.

"Ignorant asshole!" she exclaimed, then turned and told the people beside her what had happened, and who was the target.

Yes, I remember her better than the blurred shadow in the rain.

Comments

[daisydumont.livejournal.com]

i'm sorry that happened, van. i wish the world didn't have so many ignorant assholes in it, but it's good that there are people like the young woman, too.

Sigh.

[queenmomcat.livejournal.com]

My first thought upon seeing such a couple on the bus would have been something along the lines of "Awwww, how sweet. Such a loving couple in the springtime."

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

I decided not to mention it in the actual post, but I have experienced worse. In 1996 I narrowly missed being hit by a rock dropped from a cliff overhead, which could easily have killed me or the friend who was with me. In that case my actions had been less overt; it was a second date and we had not even been touching, simply lying beside one another on the beach and probably making eyes at each other.

[ubermunkey.livejournal.com]

be well,
nice post
seems kind of mellow in the face of this, and that is a good thing
sometimes I think re-acting is the easy way out.
sure it disgusts me that some people can be so stoooopid, but rather than change the moment for you to one of anger, it can be a breath of fresh air to let the ignorant be with thier ignorance

be super well
cheers

[poetbear.livejournal.com]

"Ignorant asshole!" she exclaimed, then turned and told the people beside her what had happened, and who was the target.

Yes, I remember her better than the blurred shadow in the rain.

...that's the important part, you know. the ignorant
assholes really are in the minority, though it might not always
seem so.~paul

Re: Sigh.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Earlier in the day I saw a couple of pretty young lesbians holding hands (and playfully poking one another, I guess they were having a friendly argument) on the subway. That was exactly how I reacted. I couldn't take my eyes off them.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

The healing thing about the woman's indignation was it filled me with gratitude, set me free from having to go into a place full of my own anger and fear. If I had had to face the attacker, I might have felt differently, but that's the thing about bigots, they're too cowardly to face their targets, especially in a bus full of people.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

The difficult part is realizing how dangerous they can be (as illustrated in my reply to another comment on this post). It isn't worth letting the fear dominate us, but I have to acknowledge the risk whenever I choose to act normally around my lover, and realize that in some situations the risk outweighs the benefits of behaving freely. The woman is an agent of change (and in my mind, healing), that's what I'm most grateful for.

[daisydumont.livejournal.com]

how terrible. i can only say i'm glad the rock missed you and your friend. :(

[artricia.livejournal.com]

It is refreshing to know that others are outraged by such behavior. Once, when I was taking the train in Atlanta, a young black man -- probably a teenager -- flipped me off as he got off the train. I had been zoning out, so he might have thought I was staring at him -- but I doubt it. The situation felt charged with racial tension, so it was really nice, as the train pulled away from the platform, to hear a young black father telling his two young sons (ages 6 and 8, I'd guess) in a calm voice why that wasn't a nice thing to do, etc. It's nice to see younger generations learning good things.

Been called a faggot

[ciddyguy.livejournal.com]

The first time I was called a faggot, I was minding my own business, walking to the restaurant to retrieve my take out when I went by the liquor store and some guy, most likely a drunk, called me a faggot, I just left it be but wished I'd been quick to turn around and say, why thank you. LOL. But I didn't. I was too lost in my own world to do anything, as it should be.

The second time was in LA with a friend, we were coming back from the sandwitch place with lunch when we crossed a street, in front of a white SUV with a guy in it calling us faggots. We weren't doing anything but just talking and neither of us are the most effeminate guys around. That one was a little unsettling as the guy came across menacing in tone.

It's sad, but we still have to endure this shite and I do agree that bully's are really cowards in reality.

[eloquentwthrage.livejournal.com]

In addition to what suitntieman said, that's the same kind of guy who goes to the adult bookstore and spends a half hour looking at straight video boxes before he goes back to the booths for his blowjob.

[writer00.livejournal.com]

What you remember is just what you should remember; the kindness and indignation of that woman. Really, it's absurd more than anything else. They're just making more negative karma for themselves. As for you and Danny, just keep celebrating your love together. It easily eclipses the negative crap others might try to foist on you.

[poetbear.livejournal.com]

yes!~paul

[kwangjse.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry that happened, but I'm glad for the good that came out of it and your remembering that more than the ugliness. The truth is, it is the ignorant asshole we should feel sorry for...even though he makes other peoples lives unpleasant, it can't be nearly as unpleasant as what he has to deal with inside of himself.