Three dimensions

[vaneramos]

It has been about three years, but this morning the bathroom floor tiles are crawling with white maggots. I'm fighting a migraine. Along with the panic thing, this seems to herald an early arrival of SAD. Gotta get outside every day.

Yesterday I was. All over the city we were outside and walking, walking, walking. It happened with one group: roosterbear, quillon, schillerium and rfmcpdei. We were trying to meet up for dinner with the other group: mickeytor. After walking from the Village down Church Street to Queen Street and all the way past Trinity-Bellwood Park to find Fresh, a vegetarian restaurant, we discovered we had passed the other location near Queen and Spadina.

Walking, walking, more walking. A street car. A taxi cab. Phone calls to mickeytor's roommate. More phone calls. We had set out to meet him at 5:00. Finally at 7:45 the six of us sat down to dinner, not at Fresh, but in a restaurant in Chinatown. I was ravenous.

I could only laugh. Apart from that it was an excellent day. roosterbear (Darren) and quillon (Steve) are really solid guys. rfmcdpei is a total sweetie, and funny! And it was fun meeting Sue Ellen and becoming part of mickeytor's lj gallery. At the end, hugging Darren in front of the Selby hotel I felt a quiver of tears deep inside, but they didn't rise. He's the sort of person I could spend days with.

The strangest image from the whole day happened while I was sitting on the subway, hurrying to meet Darren and Steve for brunch. A guy stepped across the platform with a lizard hanging from the nape of his neck. A live lizard. It was clinging to the back collar of his t-shirt like an inert monkey, hind legs dangling.

All these thoughts and images go streaming past. It made me want to carry a notebook so I would remember all the impressions to share with you. There is so much beauty in a day. And yesterday lots of love, too, the kind that comes from knowing people intimately from their writing and suddenly knowing them so much better, getting a real feeling not just for who they are, but how. It's like a picture suddenly springing into three dimensions.

I felt like I should be writing down phrases on the subway, sitting at Timothy's, watching the sun set along Queen Street. Catching the strange evening light across the wall of The Bay, or on the fountain in front of City Hall. Maybe there would be nothing wrong with pulling out my handwritten journal at any moment, to catch the words streaming through my head, but something smaller would be more discrete, something to fit in my pocket. And a pen.

I see them sometimes: poets sitting on the TTC, scrawling lines while the darkness flickers by. I want to go into that writing obsession with all my self.

Even ruralrob made a cameo appearance at Timothy's to greet us all. Cutting a figure that has become as familiar now as Alfred Hitchcock, only different.

After dinner I tried bubble tea for the first time, lychee flavour. It made the tapioca blobs taste like tiny, squishy lychee fruits. And rfmcdpei told me about a gallery on the ninth floor of The Bay. It has Emily Carr paintings. I want to see.




At City Hall, from left: rfmcdpei, roosterbear, schillerium, quillon

Comments

[poetbear.livejournal.com]

love roosterbear's t-shirt!~paul

[mickeytor.livejournal.com]

If was fun meeting you! Maybe one day soon we'll have to go out and do the Robin's Nest - or whatever incarnation it happens to take on.

[dakoopst.livejournal.com]

I think you really should take a notepad whereever you go. I know that I've been wanting, over the last few months, to have one of those digital voice recorders, because ideas often hit me while I'm driving, and my mind can't hold onto them for long (they're slightly out of my price range right now, though). You could always buy one of those pocket-sized notepads...and even if you pull out a full-sized journal, the sight of someone writing in public isn't that unusual...

I am worried and concerned about your panic attacks. I know you'll take care of yourself as much as possible and do everything you can to fight against them. I'm streaming you positive energy.

*hugs*, dear man.

[eloquentwthrage.livejournal.com]

Indeed! The shirt does rule!

[leafshimmer.livejournal.com]

It all sounds wonderful. Great photos, too.

It took me a bit to decode Darren's t-shirt. It's wonderfully clever!

hugs, Shimmer

[quirkstreet.livejournal.com]

How neat to finally see a pic of the very interesting rfmcdpei. He seems like a great guy. Craig and I have been acquainted for it seems like forever. And I only know the others by reputation, but I'm glad you had good time, all of you.

Like Stephen, I'm a bit concerned about the recent panic attacks, so here's wishing you smooth sailing, gorgeous.

[ruralrob.livejournal.com]

Good to see you and the other folk yesterday. I've got a medium-neato pic to post of the group later.

three unconnected comments

[queenmomcat.livejournal.com]

Love the photos; It's interesting to put a face to a livejournal handle.

Stephe made me try bubble tea for the first time today; intriguing stuff that although I found the bubbles somewhat disconcerting.

May I assume the migraine's affecting your vision? or does your bathroom actually get various infestations?

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Isn't it terrific. I liked it so much that we spent most of brunch talking about politics, not a common topic of discussion for me. :-)

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Yes, it was an all 'round wonderful day and I'm glad we met! The Robin's Nest would be fun; I'll keep you posted. I visit Toronto pretty frequently, too, so I'm sure we'll have other chances to hook up before the Robin's Nest finds its new home.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Thanks for your concern, sweetie. I'm feeling some weird symptoms again today, but it might be the migraine. Actually migraine themselves are pretty weird and unusual punishment for me. I hadn't had one in so long I hoped they had stopped. I'm just going to rest today as much as possible and hope I can get feeling better again.

One of those voice recorders would be ideal, of course. I used to own a laptop-asaurus in 1994, and I loved the spontaneity it allowed. The day my dad's mother died, I pulled over to the roadside under a maple blazing with autumn colour and wrote a poem, which was part of the beginning of discovering my poetic voice. These days I can't afford anything like that.

But I don't have to be technologically sophisticated to be more spontaneous about my writing. The new format for my journal is more fun, and it's encouraging me to think more about writing during the day. Which is the motivation towards doing more writing.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

I have more reasons now to travel down to the Boston area now!

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

I hadn't expected to meet Randy (rfmcdpei), but it was a real treat. I hope to see more of him now that we have connected.

My body is definitely acting weird this week. I'm going to relax as much as possible today and work on some self-care stuff this weekend.

Re: three unconnected comments

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Not my bathroom; it was Bill and Danny's floor, teehee. I think Bill was appalled with my metaphor. It was just the effect of my migraine. I get chevrons or shimmering effects, which made the tiles look like they were seething.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

It really was good to see you again, Rob. I hope we'll have another chance to do coffee before many months pass.

[poetbear.livejournal.com]

i think i have a couple of white
t-shirts in the closet. hmmmm.
i know i have a bunch of
sharpies™ with permanent
ink. hmmmmmm!~paul

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Craig. It was a really memorable gathering.

And thanks for your support and encouragement.

Big hugs,
Van

[rfmcdpei.livejournal.com]

The pleasure was mutual. And take care of yourself, eh?

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I will. An early bedtime is in order.

[roosterbear.livejournal.com]

Heh heh. I just made an entry in which I linked to the site where I bought that T-shirt. But your idea is both cheaper and much more immediate. I like it!

[roosterbear.livejournal.com]

There were so many highlights of our trip, and meeting you in person was way up top. I'm still blown away that you basically dropped everything and spent the entire day with us. I need more days like that, as exhausting as it was at times.

This entry encapsulates so much of what I loved about the trip in general, and yesterday in particular. I too wanted to scribble down notes yesterday, so that I would remember all the little details, and I found myself torn more than once between wanting to capture the moment with the camera and just sink into it and fully experience it.

Thank you again for sharing yourself with us, you dear sweet man.

Re: three unconnected comments

[queenmomcat.livejournal.com]

Stephe gets migraines, and I've gotten vision disturbances that very much resemble the shimmering chevrons you describe. If it weren't for the fact that the blobs follow along as I shift my gaze, I too would wonder about what had gotten into my floor.

Re: three unconnected comments

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

What you experience may in fact be migraines. I don't usually get much pain with them, but the first one I ever experienced at age 30 was pretty dramatic: I lost the left half of my vision in both eyes for about 15 minutes. More often I have lost the exact centre of my vision, making it impossible for me to read or drive. Usually these symptoms are followed by a mild headache about 24 hours later (I hardly ever get headaches otherwise). My migraines started during the last two years of my marriage, when I had a string of of about six in one winter. I think they preceded my severest depression. Since 1996 I have only had about five, altogether probably less than 15 in my life.

Re: three unconnected comments

[queenmomcat.livejournal.com]

Based on Stephen's descriptions alone, I think I may well be experiencing mild migraines. It's both rare and brief in my case, with no accompanying pain that I can tell. Very disconcerting.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Dropped everything? It's not that I'm terribly busy. Honestly, I would have done the same if any of my LJ friends visited the area. But I felt this meeting was particularly worthwhile, and I meant what I said about wanting to spend more time with you.

[quillon.livejournal.com]

Ditto on what the others said. It was great to finally get to meet you in person.

Isn't funny how a little change in our daily routine also changes our perspectives? I've been carrying around a little notepad and pen in my car for those times when I'm alone and thoughts run through my mind (most often in my car) and I can't get to a computer to type them out. I originally bought it as a "to do" list, but I find that I scribble down mind-threads more often than not.

[roosterbear.livejournal.com]

Okay, so "dropped everything" was probably a bit melodramatic. :-) But we did monopolize your day, and I appreciated every minute of it.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

You're not the odd one out in my books. You're a great friend, and I thought it fitting that we got to pose together for mickeytor's gallery.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

It's important to note sensual details of things we saw, heard and ate, too. I have a tendency to forget those things, but they bring a memory alive, and also enliven poetry and prose when we get around to writing it.