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vaneramosFrom the haiku generator:
~
writing down the air
earth and water because we're
going to burn ourselves
~
trees consulting pebbles
and streams looking for meaning
in the storm grasping
~
It was a rough day: I had to go downtown to meet someone recommended to me by both the social workers who have interviewed me. I didn't want to go, spent some time pacing around the apartment. I had to pull the address out of my bag several times and check it before I absorbed where I was going. I felt useless, lonely and desperate.
My big fear is that Things Will Not Go Well, that I'll burn another bridge, so the world of opportunities will get smaller and smaller. It's irrational for me to avoid opportunities for fear of losing them, but this is in fact what I do.
The reason I had to go today, is that I have a second interview tomorrow with a social worker at the Community Mental Health Centre. Last time, he gave me homework; contacting this person was one of them.
It was also a good day, because the meeting went pretty well. Her name is Karen and she runs a peer support centre for people with mood disorders. Not only that, but she organizes a writers group. She's writing two novels.
She was pleasant and easy to talk to, a little scattered, so I felt right at home. Even so, I noticed partway through our conversation that I was twisting a band of paper around my fingers. A nervous habit.
I came home and fired all that anxious energy into tidying my office, went through two boxes of papers. I cleared enough floor space to vacuum. This wasn't just a matter of shifting things from room to room again. I actually threw out a large bag of papers, filed some others, and reduced the unsorted ones to a single box.
~
writing down the air
earth and water because we're
going to burn ourselves
~
trees consulting pebbles
and streams looking for meaning
in the storm grasping
~
It was a rough day: I had to go downtown to meet someone recommended to me by both the social workers who have interviewed me. I didn't want to go, spent some time pacing around the apartment. I had to pull the address out of my bag several times and check it before I absorbed where I was going. I felt useless, lonely and desperate.
My big fear is that Things Will Not Go Well, that I'll burn another bridge, so the world of opportunities will get smaller and smaller. It's irrational for me to avoid opportunities for fear of losing them, but this is in fact what I do.
The reason I had to go today, is that I have a second interview tomorrow with a social worker at the Community Mental Health Centre. Last time, he gave me homework; contacting this person was one of them.
It was also a good day, because the meeting went pretty well. Her name is Karen and she runs a peer support centre for people with mood disorders. Not only that, but she organizes a writers group. She's writing two novels.
She was pleasant and easy to talk to, a little scattered, so I felt right at home. Even so, I noticed partway through our conversation that I was twisting a band of paper around my fingers. A nervous habit.
I came home and fired all that anxious energy into tidying my office, went through two boxes of papers. I cleared enough floor space to vacuum. This wasn't just a matter of shifting things from room to room again. I actually threw out a large bag of papers, filed some others, and reduced the unsorted ones to a single box.
