A white swan feather
Dec. 31st, 2004 02:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vaneramosFrom my favourite movie, The Joy Luck Club:
For years I cynically avoided New Year's resolutions. They reminded me too much of fundamentalist Christian thinking in which we "all fall short of the glory of God." While castigating ourselves for our sins, we still thought ourselves better than the unsaved. It was false humility.
Coming out of the closet, I learned to celebrate who I am and respect the differences of others. There was nothing shameful in simply being what I was. I dated a string of nice guys who smoked. I didn't like it, but I never pressured them to quit. They beat themselves up enough over it. Good intentions reeked of shame, which is the poorest motivator to change.
Happiness is inversely proportional to the strength of our desires. The more we want, the less is our contentment. The course of personal growth is inevitably fraught with setbacks and disappointments.
~~~~~~~~~~
More from The Joy Luck Club:
My good intentions for 2005:
This feather may look worthless, but it comes from afar and carries with it all my good intentions.~~~~~~~~~~
For years I cynically avoided New Year's resolutions. They reminded me too much of fundamentalist Christian thinking in which we "all fall short of the glory of God." While castigating ourselves for our sins, we still thought ourselves better than the unsaved. It was false humility.
Coming out of the closet, I learned to celebrate who I am and respect the differences of others. There was nothing shameful in simply being what I was. I dated a string of nice guys who smoked. I didn't like it, but I never pressured them to quit. They beat themselves up enough over it. Good intentions reeked of shame, which is the poorest motivator to change.
Happiness is inversely proportional to the strength of our desires. The more we want, the less is our contentment. The course of personal growth is inevitably fraught with setbacks and disappointments.
~~~~~~~~~~
More from The Joy Luck Club:
JUNE [bitterly]: I'm just sorry that you got stuck with such a loser; that I've always been so disappointing.~~~~~~~~~~
HER MOTHER: What you mean disappoint? Piano?
J: Everything! My grades, my job, not getting married. Everything you expected of me—
M: Not expect anything! Never expect! Only hope. Only hoping best for you. It's not wrong to hope.
J: No? Well it hurts. Because every time you hoped for something I couldn't deliver, it hurt. It hurt me, Mommy! And no matter what you hope for, I'll never be more than what I am. And you never see that: what I really am.
M [takes pendant from neck and tries to give it to June, who pushes it away at first]: June, since your baby time I wear this next to my heart. Now you wear next to yours. It will help you know: I see you. I see you. That bad crab, only you try to take it. Everybody else want best quality. You, you thinking different. Waverly took best quality crab, you took worst. Because you have best quality heart. You have style no one can teach. Must be born this way. I see you.
My good intentions for 2005:
- To complete a revision of Pilgrim's Cross and look for a publisher.
- To recreate my website.
- To dedicate one afternoon/evening a week to visual art projects.
- To research and sell a magazine article.
- To decrease my debt.
- To find a psychiatrist.
- To spend more time with my friends in Guelph.
- To listen to my heart more.
