The now-famous chocolate icing for 
~~~~~~~~~~
I had been looking forward to seeing the Spanish film Cachorro (2004), or Bear Cub, but was unprepared for its effect on me. I knew it was about a gay man in Madrid in the bear subculture, whose nine-year-old nephew arrives for a visit. I was interested to see an acclaimed movie, winner of several Spanish awards, about the kind of men I hang out with.
In fact, the bear scene is a relatively minor factor in the movie's plot. It could have been about any gay man. The fact that it was about a heavyset guy with facial hair only brought it marginally closer to home. I suppose I expected the relationship with his nephew to be whimsical and idealized. Hollywood has taught me to expect that from movies.
Instead the emotionally wrenching story struck painfully close to some of the most sensitive and important themes of my life. It might as well have been about me. To watch it last night with a room full of childless gay men was a surreal experience.
As the closing credits began, someone said: "Strange." It was strange; and so is my life as a bear-identified gay man with children who sometimes live at a distance and sometimes live with me fulltime for weeks straight. I would love to have watched it with the three gay dads on my friends list who would each relate to the film's tensions in different ways. But then we probably would have been a mess together at the end. Perhaps it was best that I got to curl up later with my boyfriend who didn't receive it so personally, but knows me well enough to understand my reaction.
Take a carefree guy who lives alone with a life of ambiguous sexual relations and fun-loving friends, bring along his sister's intelligent and perceptive son for a two-week stay that turns unexpectedly into a much more serious and demanding arrangement, throw in a lonely, scheming grandmother who uses blackmail to interfere in the bond between uncle and boy, and you have a rough outline of this film. By altering its details slightly you could also approximate the moral dilemmas, crises and heartaches that have marked my life.
The movie tried to throw in a twist ending. Such twists usually fool me, but ironically I intuited how this one must resolve.
I also declare kudos for niether portraying Pedro as a dimwitted, selfish, addled adult nor for idealizing his relationships and way of life. It might have been tempting to place him in a stable same-sex relationship to juxtapose against the malice of his detractor. Instead he is single by choice, even lonely, yet not without love. The arrival of his nephew restricts his carefree activities, and yet Pedro embraces the responsibility. His lifestyle becomes complicated by duality, not duplicity. All of this reminds me of me.
It was a hard film to watch, and yet I must place it in my list of favourites. No other has hit so close to home.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-18 03:56 am (UTC)and that movie does sound intense. I don't do movies well with these kinds of themes. You put it very well in regards to hitting close to home.
Do you remember that godawful movie with Madonna and Rupert?! He was the father but as soon as she had a hetero love interest he became discarded. Or something like that? Well my first lover got it to watch with another friend. I was such a mess I got up and left. They could not understand what was wrong with me? I was in the middle of custody issues myself and the movie had an incredible impact on me.
I can only imagine this one, and I won't go see it. Not any time in the near future that is.
Be well Van
no subject
Date: 2005-01-18 04:20 am (UTC)Love is patient. Love wins.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-18 04:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-18 04:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-18 04:35 am (UTC)(For much of this entry, I can only offer slightly perplexed but very sympathetic sympathy.)
no subject
Date: 2005-01-18 05:08 am (UTC)I think I've heard of this movie but have not seen it.
Another movie with checking out is Bad Education, Spanish with English subtittles. Gay themed, but in character only for the most part and what they do to perpetuate an attempted blackmail to a catholic priest who split two 10 Y.O. gay boys at a catholic school - and the priest is gay too. Quite good I might add.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-18 06:48 am (UTC)Such is the beauty of great cinema, or any of the creative arts, I guess -- an appeal that stretches across our experiences.
Re: I'm curious...
Date: 2005-01-18 03:32 pm (UTC)I have to imagine the North American releases, especially the American one, will be chopped and hacked to bits.
Re: I'm curious...
Date: 2005-01-18 03:43 pm (UTC)Link to the cake recipe
Date: 2005-01-18 04:27 pm (UTC)Ultimate Chocolate Cake from Food TV dot CA.
I only changed a couple things.
For the cake, I added
1/2 oz couverture chocolate
1/2 tsp rum extract
For the icing, I added
1/4 oz 85% dark chocolate from a bar
1 tsp Cointreau
1 cup more icing sugar
The icing didn't look right with the amount of sugar the recipe called for. It was too runny. I think the chocolate mix was too warm as well. Anyway, after mixing it together, it did look quite yummy. Tasted DANG good as well!
We served the final cake with some raspberries, which set it off wonderfully.
Hugs everyone!
Oh that cake!
Date: 2005-01-18 04:33 pm (UTC)Cachorro was a powerfull movie. I'm very glad I saw it. I'm glad they made the characters 'human'. Each had their problems and strong points, but no one was completely evil or good.
Glad I was there to hold you and talk about it afterwards. I can see how you could have lost it from this movie.
Big hugs and I hope there are pics of the cake! I didn't take any, so I can't post any!
Re: Link to the cake recipe
Date: 2005-01-18 05:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-18 05:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-18 06:02 pm (UTC)wonderfully decadent
Date: 2005-01-18 06:03 pm (UTC)Re: Link to the cake recipe
Date: 2005-01-18 06:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-18 06:07 pm (UTC)Re: I'm curious...
Date: 2005-01-18 06:10 pm (UTC)Re: I'm curious...
Date: 2005-01-18 06:15 pm (UTC)I'm not saying I didn't like it. ;-)
no subject
Date: 2005-01-18 06:16 pm (UTC)Re: Oh that cake!
Date: 2005-01-18 06:24 pm (UTC)Regrettably I forgot to take pictures of the finished cake. Don't know what I was thinking. I guess the icing bowl distracted me. I don't believe anyone took pics at the party.
I was impressed with the movie's characterization. Even the grandmother was sympathetic. Pedro's reaction to her was understandable, and yet I could sympathize with her motives, too.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-18 06:39 pm (UTC)<blush!>
Date: 2005-01-18 06:39 pm (UTC)Re: wonderfully decadent
Date: 2005-01-18 06:40 pm (UTC)Re: <blush!>
Date: 2005-01-18 06:42 pm (UTC)Re: I'm curious...
Date: 2005-01-18 06:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-18 08:34 pm (UTC)http://www.livejournal.com/users/dakoopst/240873.html
and then, a total fluff comment
I so need to move to Canada. Or at least visit more often.
Re: and then, a total fluff comment
Date: 2005-01-18 11:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-19 02:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-19 02:36 am (UTC)