Experiment in lucid dreaming

[vaneramos]

Marian's photo of her closet: every Tuesday or Thursday night we talk on the phone for at least 45 minutes. Recently there have been a few extra calls. Marian sits in this closet in her dorm with the door closed for privacy and the light off.

2fruition's post yesterday reminded me the antidepressant disposes me toward lucid dreams. In all my prior life I only remember one other lucid dream, when I was in the hospital on morphine. The problem now is mirtazapine makes me so drowsy by the time my head hits the pillow that I rarely remember what happens next.

Actually, I wasn't certain the phenomena I experienced were lucid dreams, but after reading Wikipedia's suggestions on achieving and recognizing them, I'm more certain. In particular, the instructions for waking induction of lucid dreaming sounded familiar. Under natural conditions I wouldn't approach sleep in a relaxed enough state; when tired I couldn't concentrate enough to practice the necessary breathing and muscle exercises. But mirtazapine does the relaxing for me. So I am able to approach sleep with awareness that I'm about to dream.

From Wikipedia:

If you are able to stay aware, you will see the flashes and dots transform into images, during the hypnagogic stage. Then you will have a certain feeling that you can now dream. Once you are here, immerse yourself into your dream.

I'm frequently aware of these ocular sensations. So last night I decided to explore them.

I went to bed earlier and less tired than usual. Within a few seconds of closing my eyes, I noticed dim pulses of light and colour. Soon an image of white crests like snowdrifts emerged. I had a clear impression that they were musical keys, such as the ivories on an organ, but they were placed irregularly rather than in a straight line, and were popping up and down of their own accord. I realized I was beginning to dream.

I drifted, then had a brief dream of a red eye on a television screen surrounded by darkness. It was sinister, like the eye of the Dark Lord. I erased it by turning the entire screen red.

The next incident emerged again from more random blobs of colour and light. I saw a woman and child, ghostsandrobots and Jude, walking hand-in-hand across a lawn in jeans and summer shirts. My view was brightly coloured but blurry and contrasty as if through a badly focused video camera, and I mostly saw their legs and feet. There was no sound. I tried to bring the scene into clearer focus, only with partial success. Somewhere I read that, for inexperienced oneironauts,¹ influencing lucid dreams may feel like trying to move through Jell-o. That's exactly how it felt.

Unfortunately I was slightly congested and a fit of coughing disturbed my experiment. I woke briefly, blew my nose, and remembered nothing after that.

¹ dream explorers.

~~~~~~~~~~

In other news, I made the long drive to Marian's school then over to Lindsay to pick up Brenna this afternoon. We're safely back in Guelph for the first few days of March Break.