Two years: and so it goes

[vaneramos]

Monday afternoon: Eramosa River


Today is my second anniversary on LiveJournal, and the best thing that could have happened did.

Deep within is a shining glade. Each day when I sit to write my morning pages, I enter it. Lately I've taken my misery there, dashing my pen across the pages and hastily closing the cover.

But yesterday my list of 10 favourite things made me recognize the privilege of own company. In the vast cosmos, consciousness is scarce. This morning I drifted to that space softly, feeling comfort of the page and confidence of my pen.

Billy Joel says this:

In ev'ry heart there is a room,
A sanctuary safe and strong.
To heal the wounds from lovers past,
Until a new one comes along.

Does it really serve nothing more than to prepare us for moving from one infatuation to the next? Is it unfriendly of me to linger there? Not healing the wounds of love, but sculpting art and wisdom.

There is neither right nor wrong. We may each choose our best course. In fact, solitude and society are not mutually exclusive.

So this morning the veil lifted and my spirit came back into the glade. That was my anniversary gift.

Comments

[justapostcard.livejournal.com]

Happy Anniversary! -- wishing you the best always.

[daisydumont.livejournal.com]

happy second anniversary! i love livejournal, and i'm so glad you're here.

[mylastsigh.livejournal.com]

weird; i feel like i have known you for so much longer.

[blt4success66.livejournal.com]

...and we're all richer for the experience you've brought. HUGS!

[dakoopst.livejournal.com]

That song ALWAYS makes me cry...I mean, the message is both hopeful, and wistful...

I'm so happy you could find your glade again, Van. The world is, as always, a more beautiful place for your presence in it.

[noveldevice.livejournal.com]

Happy LJanniversary. :)

Don't forget the end of the song, though.

And if my silence made you leave
Then that would be my worst mistake,
So I will share this room with you
And you can have this heart to break.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Thank you. :-)

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Thank you, and I'm grateful for our friendship.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Your life has gone through some big changes since then, so I'm not surprised you feel that way. I encountered you soon after my arrival, within the first month. You have influenced my photography as much as, perhaps more than, anyone else on LJ. Despite the ups and downs, these have been the two most fertile years of my life, but they have passed too quickly for me.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Thank you, that is my best hope.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

We're singing it this season, not for the first time. It's my favourite on the program. Love is always a risk, and it's always worthwhile.

xoxo

[grandiva1968.livejournal.com]

Happy Happy!

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Oh, I don't forget it. Actually this is close to the heart of the question I raise. I've spent most of my life feeling like an outsider looking into other people's rooms and feeling miserable about it. The question is, how much must I struggle with myself to learn to trust and let people get more easily close to me; on the other hand, how much should I learn to accept my solitude, even celebrate it and learn to let it work for me?

For the first time in my life I feel secure and content in a love relationship. We live relatively independent lives, so the relationship does not have the quality of intense and constant intimacy I used to crave and languish over. But I find it is enough; it makes me happy. It gives me an anchor: I feel I'm working from a position of strength I've never had before. My relationships seem to be growing increasingly satisfying, and my time alone increasingly fertile in the creative realm.

Conventional wisdom might identify me as antisocial. But I'm beginning to doubt that I should accept the label, Loner. Or at least doubt that being a Loner is wrong for me. One must have a balance between intimacy and solitude, but perhaps my right balance is different from the majority of people.

I hope I'm not just rationalizing living in emotional poverty. But the essential question is: what makes me happy? I do not need to let social norms dictate my own choices.

Peace and hugs

[djjo.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad you are in my life, and having your words here to look forward to. It's amazing to think it's been almost 2 years since I've met you as well!

Wondeful picture Van. Peaceful.

Smooches and see you on the weekend. Danny

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Yes I am. :-)

Re: Peace and hugs

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Yes, it makes so much difference having someone in my life who I adore and trust. Without feeling connected to others, I would not know how to find this peace in myself.

I plan to stop by the house tomorrow afternoon.

xoxo

[eloquentwthrage.livejournal.com]

[rsc.livejournal.com]

Today is my second anniversary on LiveJournal

I find that entirely astonishing. A search determines that my first post on LJ was on April 6, 2003 -- which means eight days before you. I had the distinct impression that you had preceded me here.

I've certainly enjoyed reading your insightful posts and looking at your beautiful photographs.

And speaking of photographs, when I saw today's (but hadn't yet scrolled down to the caption) I thought it was a closeup of Danny's (or your, or somebody's) hairy chest. Which tells you where my mind is.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Wow, you're very welcome!

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Haha, I wondered what people would make of that photograph!

And you have been one of my most faithful supporters, for which I am very grateful.