Preparing to give a workshop

[vaneramos]

I've been doing some last-minute preparations for the creative writing workshop I will give tomorrow. Actually, all the preparations have been last minute. I've been thinking about it for weeks, considering what ideas to discuss and exercises to use. I started writing an outline yesterday and filled it out more this afternoon, including some inspiring passages to read from Natalie Goldberg, Deborah Garrison, Jane Hirshfield, Annie Dillard and Cyrus Cassells (my favourite living poet).

I have never done anything quite like this before. I'm trying to draw on my experience as a group facilitator for Bible studies and, in a later, different life, Gay Fathers of Toronto. I remember the award winning speech I gave in grade four before a nameless shadow came and snatched my self-confidence. I remember, much more recently, the first time I gave a public reading of my poetry and how good it felt; but then I knew each word like a friend.

The workshop ought to be informal, so all I have done is outline the topics to cover and points to make. I haven't given myself a script, gambling on the hope that I won't blank out. I'm not sure exactly how the hour will go, but have plenty of material to play with. And of course I will be teaching people about something I love doing more than anything else. How could I possibly run out of words?

I specified that the workshop would be suitable for 3 to 15 people. Five have registered so far.

Only now, as I assemble the pile of books and notes to take tomorrow and realize I've run out of preparation time, am I starting to get nervous. A black particle waits for me in the glow of tomorrow afternoon. I can't tell whether it's a bomb or a seed.