[Extra] lucid dream: rock climbing, vertigo, Brenna falling

[vaneramos]

I've only ever had a handful of lucid dreams—those in which I'm aware I'm dreaming and can influence their events. The first and most vivid one happened when I was on morphine in the hospital. I have had several more since I started taking Remeron, but they only occurred as I was falling asleep, and they always wakened me almost immediately. Last night, for the first time I can remember, I realized I was dreaming midstream.

I was hiking with three companions along the Bruce Trail. We were passing through heavy forest and scrambling over dark, weathered dolostone full of pits and crhasms, even more rugged than is usually found atop of the Niagara Escarpment. We had to climb up and down crags, always aware of the sheer cliff a little way to our left, hidden by trees. The person leading us was George, a local writer I met in January but subsequently lost contact with, a hopeful acquaintance that never blossomed. The other two were behind me; I couldn't see who they were.

We came upon a crevasse that crossed our path, about two metres wide. The far side was slightly higher. I was supposed to jump across first, but I knew it was very deep. I started to experience vertigo and wanted to avoid making it worse, so I refused to approach the edge.

"Come on," said George. He stepped on some kind of steel brace fastened across the crack, and used it to leap onto the far side. It was about the width of my foot, slightly crooked, and painted celadon green, partly camouflaging it against the colour of rocks and foliage, which explained why I hadn't noticed it before.

Again I refused. As is always the case with my fear of heights, I realized it was irrational, that my chance of tripping and falling was slight. But I wasn't willing to take the risk.

"Here, I'll throw you a rope and we'll help you across," he said. He produced a strand of macramé jute from one of his pockets and tossed one end to me. Our other companions tried to push me forward, but the more they all urged me, the more I resisted, until I finally turned away and looked for another place to cross.

Later, realizing it was a dream and that I couldn't hurt myself, I decided to try crossing and returned to the place to seek their help, but everything beceme slippery and unsteady (the earth slanting) and we couldn't get anywhere near the crevasse.

Later again, I woke up and noticed that a muscle knot under my right shoulder blade, which had been bothering me since Sunday morning, was particularly painful.

Some time later I had another, related dream. Once again I was walking along dark, rocky terrain, but now accompanied by my daughters. The rocks were smooth and the obstacles regularly spaced. In fact it looked like a scene from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets computer game. Marian and I were approaching a crevasse and trying to gauge the distance so we would know when to jump, when Brenna appeared on the other side, running toward us. I yelled at her, but she jumped anyway. The opening was too wide and she started to fall.

A few years ago, around the time I was struggling to maintain access to the girls, and after they moved away, I had a series of nightmares in which Brenna died. I remember a couple that involved her running into heavy traffic (she was only three or four at the time). Several times I awoke screaming.

This time, I felt only brief and mild anxiety. I simply used my special lucid dreaming powers and a beam of white light to lift her onto the top of the cliff.

I woke up again, and the knot in my back was gone.

Comments

white beam of light

[ghostsandrobots.livejournal.com]

Wow! I wish I could do it like that.

[missprune.livejournal.com]

Very cool!

[poetbear.livejournal.com]

perhaps a therapist would tell you that this
dream means that you are learning to deal
with your fears.(at least a Freudian)at any
rate, i'm happy that you were able to save
Brenna. ~paul

Re: white beam of light

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

It's really quite easy. The trick, of course, is knowing that you can. But I haven't figured out how to make the earth stop slanting.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Often dreams are more fun than life. ;-)

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

I would agree, although contrary to Freudian interpretations, the symbols in my dreams tend to be fairly obvious and natural, rather than archetypal.

[dennisatl.livejournal.com]

what a wonderful dream to experience. I remember so little of my dreams and those I have remembered I cling to for days and weeks. I wonder if you have heard what anti-depressants do to our dreamlives? would be interested to know. Anyway, thanks for sharing this.

[poetbear.livejournal.com]

"Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."
~paul

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Someone told me that Remeron is noted for preventing people from dreaming. But that certainly isn't my experience. I sleep more soundly and remember more dreams than I did before. I also feel it makes it easier for me to stay asleep when I have lucid dreams.

One of the most useful strategies I have found for remembering my dreams is simply forming the intention to do so. Try keeping a journal by your bed, and when you close your eyes, tell yourself you're going to dream, and you're going to remember. I hate writing in bed, but just having the journal nearby when I wake up often reminds me that I dreamt something. Then I go directly to my office and write it down.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Haha, I've heard that before! I never realized Freud had said it.

When I'm recording dreams, sometimes the words I use to describe things are just as significant as the dream-memory itself. For instance, in my dream I didn't notice anything peculiar about the rope, but when I actually wrote it down, I realized the rope was no more than twine. Obviously, I didn't trust it or think it would be comfortable to hold onto! But in my dream that thought didn't occur to me, just my overall mistrust of the situation.

I also have a tendency to remember dreams in similes. For example, I would be inclined to write I was hiking on something "like" the Bruce Trail, or that my companion resembled George. Realizing that my dream mind probably intended it to "be" George, and writing it that way, brings it into clearer focus and helps me remember more details.

[poetbear.livejournal.com]

i must put my notebook at the top of the
stack on my night table! if it's there, i can
remember to record dreams before they slip away,
to be filed in some inaccesable memory file deep
in the back corners of my mind.~paul

[twillhead.livejournal.com]

I love it when I experience lucid dreaming, occurrences that happen few and far between. I also love flying dreams. Curiously, I cannot make myself fly when in a lucid dream (ostensibly because I know I can't fly in real life??). Odd.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

I've been trying to remember to take my journal to bed for the same reason. I didn't do it last night, but remembered anyway—another remarkable thing about these dreams!

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Curious indeed. I've read that's one of the first things most people try to do when they have a lucid dream, and sure enough, I've gone flying just for the hell of it! This was the first time I used my awareness to address the problem at hand, rather than distracting myself or making it go away.

[poetbear.livejournal.com]

some dreams make such an impression on you,
that they are practically indelible! ~paul