vaneramos
Her dark sweatshirt
swathed in bright wet air
encircled on a cliff
converses with cloud.
Shrieking voices fly,
rhythmic percussion
rocks hidden below.
The origin no more
than a dream maybe,
wordless sounds
battering eardrums.
A pain more real
than truth.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-04 02:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-04 04:39 am (UTC)It conjures an image to me of a woman alone on a darkened cliffside, overlooking crashing surf...
And it's interesting to me how different our approaches to poetry are...you feel much more modern in your approach, searching for economy of words and packing your emotion tightly into concentrated space. When I try to write like that, I fail utterly...I'm much better served by stream-of-consciousness flow and expulsion of whatever images are in my mind.
Then again, I think that highlights the fact that you're a writer, and I just tend to write. (This isn't intended as a dismissal of what I do; rather, as an honor to what you do.)
no subject
Date: 2005-10-04 01:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-04 01:55 pm (UTC)I use stream-of-consciousness writing in my daily handwritten journal. Poetry, fiction and essays often arise in their own form, but this poem is a perfect example of something that emerged roughly in the journal and I decided to develop it. Economy of words does not come naturally to me, it is a practiced skill. This is what I condensed from three pages of contemplation.
xoxo