The color quiz

[vaneramos]

This says a lot.

Van's Existing Situation
The fear of rebuff and the extreme caution of his approach make it difficult for him to achieve the degree of intimacy and identification he desires.


Van's Stress Sources
Has an unsatisfied need to ally himself with others whose standards are as high as his own, and to stand out from the herd. This desire for preeminence isolates him and inhibits his readiness to give himself freely. While he wants to surrender and let himself go, he regards this as a weakness which must be resisted. This self-restraint, he feels, will lift him above the rank and file and ensure recognition as a unique and distinctive personality.


Van's Restrained Characteristics
Unhappy at the resistance he feels whenever he tries to assert himself. However, he believes that there is little he can do and that he must make the best of the situation.

Feels that things stand in his way, that circumstances are forcing him to compromise and forgo some pleasures for the time being.


Van's Desired Objective
Hopes that ties of affection and good-fellowship will bring release and contentment. His own need for approval makes him ready to be of help to others and in exchange he wants warmth and understanding. Open to new ideas and possibilities which he hopes will prove fruitful and interesting.


Van's Actual Problem
Feels insufficiently valued in his existing situation, and is seeking different conditions in which he will have greater opportunity of demonstrating his worth.

Take the quiz

Comments

[mhkrabat.livejournal.com]

OK Van, since we're baring our souls, here's the results of my test. Fascinating to me is the existance of more than one "Actual Problem". I'm willing to fully agree with the results as they are presented but I don't think it's all that important that I do. I consider this more for purposes of amusement than actual psychology

[mhkrabat.livejournal.com]

Dohp! Here's the results...

mark took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! "Longs for a tender and sympathetic bond and for a ..." Click here to read the rest of the results.

[eloquentwthrage.livejournal.com]

[roosterbear.livejournal.com]

Man, they don't mince words, do they?

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

I tend not to take test results like these too seriously. For one thing, it's easy to take psychological issues that are common to the human experience, for example the difficult quest for intimacy, and word them in ways that will make most people say, "Yeah, that's right on!"

On the other hand, these results articulate essential problems with my life. I have been dangerously isolated at times, and my "extreme caution" and difficulty asserting myself contribute to this matter. The results particularly make sense in light of my past employment experiences, and the issues I keep stumbling over in looking for work and considering what kind of work I might do. Which is much more than a casual consideration at the moment. My efforts to find adequate professional counseling towards that goal keep turning up dry. So yeah, even if these ideas aren't particularly helpful or even accurate, they seem important.

There's one point in these results I would definitely argue with. "While he wants to surrender and let himself go, he regards this as a weakness..." I don't see this as a weakness, in most cases I simply lack the trust or confidence to do so. But my reticence was scripted by my upbringing, in which risk-taking was regarded as foolish.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

It's interesting how some of the same issues seem to appear in everyone's results, just worded different ways. On the other hand my own results sounded a lot like me, while yours definitely sound like somebody else. Do you feel they're accurate?

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Not at all! Most of this is right on, except that I don't regard the desire to surrender as a weakness (that would be my parents who taught that risk-taking was foolish), I simply lack the confidence or trust in most circumstances.

[eloquentwthrage.livejournal.com]

No, not really. The thing about the quizzes is that they're pretty vague, and you can always see yourself in them.

I saw a PBS documentary one time that debunked psychics. They got a room of about 25 random people together, had them fill out a short info sheet, then had them come back the next day. They were each given a "personalized horoscope," and then they had to rate how accurate it was. All of them said it was very accurate. Funny thing about that: they were all given exactly the same horoscope.

[mhkrabat.livejournal.com]

word them in ways that will make most people say, "Yeah, that's right on

I agree. I suppose this is the hook in taking such tests on-line. Odds are pretty good that at least half the time you'll get a result that seemingly hits the nail on the head.

On the difficulty of finding adequate counseling, are there friends whose values align with your own and whose judgements you trust, who are also getting counseling? You've probably already taken this avenue, but just in case not, perhaps you might get a referal from one of them?

wants to surrender and let himself go, he regards this as a weakness For me there's some validity to such assertion, I think stemming from a very heartbreaking relationship prior to my subsequent marriage to the finest woman I could imagene. My wife is perhaps a bit cheated out of seeing my entire being as I've been unwilling to be fully trusting of my self. We're open and honest with each other, I trust her completely, yet I withhold a certain part of myself.

The alluded heartbreak stemmed from being in a relationship in which I unwittingly assisted the gal in coming-out. Her actions masked her thoughts so while there were certainly warnings, I still felt blindsided. Once I got past the anger though, I think it went some distance in developing what empathy is possible in me as a hetro towards folks in same-sex relationships.

When it finally dawned on me that I had loved relatives of this orientation, I came around to losing my quite misdirected anger towards gays. A byproduct of adjusting my attitude is that I get to enjoy thoughtful conversation with a wonderful and fine crosssection of folks I could have otherwise missed.

Will I do something about "correct" the conditions pronounced in my results? Probably not, at least consciously. I'm satisfied that I'm probably not a threat to myself or more importantly; others.

Despite having said above, I certainly stand by you as you seek resolve to those issues vexxing you.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

The social worker who helped me come out was the straight ex-husband of a lesbian, so I know firsthand how an experience like that can elicit empathy in people of a certain quality.

I won't start wiriting about counseling, social workers, psychiatrists, referals, referals and referals right now. I've had enough experiences to fill a book. With depression and anxiety fairly well managed for the time being, I've lost interest in looking for another therapist. I just want to find a job, but if there's an employment counseling service that can help a 41-year-old who has been unemployed for most of a decade, without treating him like an imbecile, that would be nice.

[mhkrabat.livejournal.com]

Does Ontario have something like a "provincial job bank" programme where employers post positions to be filled and job seekers, um, seek? Yep, you've got a bit of a hurdle to jump but then I'd guess you're becoming adept at the jumping 8^). Yes it'd be really nice if you got to speak with someone sensitive enough to not leave you feeling like less than you are.