Aftermath

[vaneramos]

Writing is an adventure. The problem is, if you're willing to lose control and let the characters tell their story, it takes on a life of it's own and you can't be sure where it will lead. Tonight I had in mind to write a warm tale of gentle flirtation, but what emerged tore me to pieces more than anything I've written before, even more than Trent's crisis in Pilgrim's Cross.

I have some qualms, not because of the content, but because I usually write linear narratives and this was an extreme departure. I can't guarantee Barbara will choose to read it tonight. Regardless, I'll post it here tomorrow behind a cut. I'll be interested to hear any comments.

Perhaps a long shower is in order.

Comments

[fivecats.livejournal.com]

I lack that belief in myself, to simply allow the characters to tell me what they want and need to do completely as I write.

Instead, I spend a lot of time with them in my head, playing out scenes and writing out sketches of scenes and/or snatches of dialog here and there.

I also find I fear writing -- something I don't do with photography. I worry about getting things exactly right with the written word. But that's another posting.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

I lack that belief in myself

It's interesting you say that, because it is a leap of faith, or of letting go. But the confidence grows with experience. That's why I do so much practice writing.

That fear of making mistakes is a biggy for many writers. If I make 'em, I make 'em. It doesn't bother me much. Somebody will catch them. Of course if it comes to submitting journalism for publication, I can become detail-oriented very fast.

I'm not afraid of making mistakes with photography. There's not much risk involved in taking a few digital images. But on the other hand I lack the confidence as a photographer than I feel as a writer.

[fivecats.livejournal.com]

(Deleted mistaken identity. My sincere apologies -- it's late at night and I really should be asleep)

I share your same feeling on there not being much risk in a few digital images. I'm almost the same way with film images, although the added cost of developing the film does have a tendency to make me much more selective in the photography process and far less "experimental".

I wish I felt the same way about my writing. I wish I had the same notion that whatever I write can just as easily be Saved as Deleted. There's something more... I don't know... almost sacred about the written word from my point of view. It intimidates the heck out of me and keeps me from writing much of anything "serious" for months and years at a time.

drood jabbed me with a sharp pointed stick sometime last year and quoted a friend of his when Drood was in a somewhat similar situation. Drood was writing enjoyable entries on LJ but not doing anything else with his gift with words.

His friend asked, "Are you really going to be content with parlour tricks for the rest of your life?"

It's a phrase I've kept with me, close to my heart.

Today I cleared out a section of The Boy's old room and repaired a table for writing use in there. We've decided to call the room "Penny's Room" after the main character in my book, the book that will be written in that room.

More on the writing/photography differences later...

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Have you read any of the books on writing by Natalie Goldberg? I particularly recommend Writing Down the Bones, and Wild Mind.

It might be worthwhile to break past that preciousness of the written word. Consider how the expense of film inhibits experimentation in photography. The same is true if we view everything we write as valuable. The hours I devote to writing are indeed valuable because the process and practice are worthwhile, but the words themselves I regard as raw material, much of which gets sculpted and discarded. Even if the words seem stupid or boring, I usually have to write them and get them out of the way before the vivid ones will come.

I would never throw anything away, and in that sense everything is precious. I have about 40 spiralbound notebooks I've filled since New Years 1997, mostly with nonsense and tedious fussing, not worth reading. The only way to be a writer is to keep that blank page open in front of me, and keep filling it, so I'll be ready and attentive when ideas strike. I spend about 25 minutes a day writing three lined pages (my morning pages). And I post 200 words per day to LJ. Besides showering, eating and sleeping, these are my two most consistent habits.