Clambering and sliding

[vaneramos]

Ice palace under Victoria Road Bridge


Suddenly I have a boiler under my ass. Yesterday and today I had unfamiliar, wonderful, industrious energy and yet felt more myself, actually doing things I wanted, instead of just wishing. This morning I rose, ate breakfast and headed to the gym at 9:15, with enough time to return and write morning pages before going to work at 11:30. This p.m. I worked on the chapbook, intermittently knitting a hat for the silent auction at this Saturday's choral concert.

Yesterday afternoon this energy took me walking in softly angled sunlight. Under Victoria Road Bridge runs a cascade, but only on mild winter days. To get close I crossed the river and circled under the far side of the bridge. This necessitated edging down a steep icy slope, my boots barely gripping, feeling backwards, slipping, building momentum, finally striding out of control to the bottom. Later, climbing up was difficult, straining back and thighs, but my momentum worked forward; it was far less nerve-wracking.

I wanted to report a lesson from that, but cheap analogies lead to misguided spiritual clichés. I should just let things be what they are.

It's hard work going up, but scarier sliding down an icy cliff.