Domestic matters

[vaneramos]

This morning the landlord phoned to say the woman upstairs has a restraining order on the husband, that I shouldn't leave the door unlocked (duh!), that I should call police if I see him, and that she would be moving out. That would be a relief. The family includes a delinquent teenager, a boy about eight, and three children under four.

I came home this afternoon to find their apartment silent with the door standing open.

I asked Joanne downstairs whether everyone was gone. Unfortunately her version of events is: the husband is on a binge, the woman and kids already left, and he is upstairs sleeping. Not so good. With her gone, I can expect his drinking buddies to appear, and loud music at any hour of day or night.

Meanwhile, I'm stressing over a simple family matter. My ex had offered to pick Marian up from school tomorrow if necessary. On Monday I emailed my ex saying I wouldn't be able to get there until 6:30. Instead of replying, she forwarded my email to the school. So Marian emails this afternoon asking me to come sooner.

One thing I can rely on, is never knowing my ex's agenda.

Comments

[halation.livejournal.com]

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

[eloquentwthrage.livejournal.com]

Instead of replying, she forwarded my email to the school.

(head explodes)

[rsc.livejournal.com]

These are the same neighbors who caused you all that grief last year, right?

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know. Part of me is thinking, if she had just replied, we wouldn't have to get Marian, the house parents at her dorm, the school secretary and who knows how many other teachers involved. But that, of course, is the point.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

She really doesn't get under my skin anymore. It's just frustrating having to stress over problems that arise because they aren't dealt with in a direct and timely manner. The really sad thing is that this passive-aggressive behaviour seems to be the reason Marian has chosen to live away from home (she doesn't blame her mother, just says, "We don't get along."). I worry Brenna, being less pragmatic and more compliant, will have a harder time with it.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

It was actually two years ago that things got really bad. They've been quieter lately, but as this illustrates, I never know what to expect.

[ghostsandrobots.livejournal.com]

Bleah to all of it. Good news is, Marian seems to have such an incredibly adaptive attitude. Your stories of her never cease to amaze me.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

This isn't half of it. Two years ago things were a lot worse. I was actually concerned for my own safety. Fights in the middle of the night, breaking down doors, a drinking buddy attempting suicide, blood stains in the hall. On top of everything else the woman, the teenager and one of their guests verbally harrassed me. I've phoned the police twice, but the police have been here more times than I can count. For a while I was afraid to come home. I didn't cope well either.

They've been a lot quieter the past 18 months. It seemed to help when I complained to the landlord about the harrassment. But maybe it was too good to last. Ironically it was the woman who really freaked me out, but with her gone, the situation is bound to become more volatile again.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Mostly at boarding school. She still spends some weekends with her mother, but most long weekends and holidays with me.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Yeah, she is a pretty amazing young woman! I'm very proud of her.

[queenmomcat.livejournal.com]

Lordy, someone beat me to the 'head explodes' reaction!

I'm deeply grateful for the fact that my parents never did this sort of thing to me, and even more grateful for the fact that Marian seems to be growing into a young woman wise far beyond her years (at least according to her (favorably) biased though realistic and supportive father...)

[bitterlawngnome.livejournal.com]

It's your Lifestyle that makes you so irresponsible I'm sure.

*eyeroll*

[mattycub.livejournal.com]

So sad that your ex feels the need to play such pointless games. Hope it didn't/doesn't cause you too much of a problem.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Hey Bill, can you add anything to the discussion on my previous post?

http://vaneramos.livejournal.com/436426.html

[bitterlawngnome.livejournal.com]

Nothing really, we didn't do anything special. Of course I am not a lawyer and this is not legal advice. Be prepared for some pieces to go astray and others to spend weeks at customs.

On the artwork I will have to sort out how to arrange insurance since he requires it, and that's going to be a whole other piece of research. I'll share whatever I find out. I expect CARFAC or someone has information.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

She has managed to grow into a fairly resourceful and independent young woman, without much bitterness that I can see, and I'm grateful for that.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

It's the sort of thing that would probably wash right over me if I were better rested. ;-)

[queenmomcat.livejournal.com]

[Just to clarify, none of this is your fault, nor do I mean to imply that your ex-wife is conciously being malicious.]

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

No, I understand that, and the reminder is well given.