Absolute truth

[vaneramos]

We seek truth, but what good will it do? Put food on the table or a warm companion in bed?

My father once said something about truth. I had become a born again Christian and begun marketing this brilliant scheme to my irreligious family. One day out of the blue, Dad said, "I believe there is absolute truth." And I didn't know what in hell he was talking about. I understood Jesus dying, knew the fire of my need, felt a sense of meaning from the Bible. But no one had ever explained objectivity versus subjectivity, or how to carry on constructive arguments. Preaching had one purpose, and was never about seeking.

Truth isn't something you can feel. It's a blackboard equation, cold and merciless. It's galaxies colliding and meteorites wiping out species for no reason. It makes little sense of this fizzy biochemical love in which we place so much faith. We lie constantly to retain our hold against gravity's drag. We force square reasons into fragile balloons, bursting and spilling life.

Maybe I sound cynical and desperate, but it's the only reasonable way to be. Despair allows me to make choices. That's the only thing left to do.