Grade nine

[vaneramos]

This afternoon I attended closing ceremonies at Marian's school. The girl cleaned up. Seriously. For starters, she won two trophies. One was for highest academic achievement in grade nine to eleven (she just finished grade nine). The other was the comprehensive arts award for grade nine to eleven, which came with a plaque for her to keep. In addition she received an award (a copy of Homer's Iliad) for best math student in grade nine to eleven, and a gold pin for over-80 average. She and two other girls were presented with a plaque for winning the school science fair. There must have been a sixth award, but I can't remember what.

Better than all that is seeing her well-liked, and enjoying the company of her peers. The principal stopped me to say Marian is remarkably kind, with no inclination to disdain other students. She has been encouraging Marian to strive for a top scholarship. Other parents and teachers also spoke to me about Marian's personal qualities, as well as her scholastic achievements. The father of the graduating head girl said Marian has a lot of strength. Teachers and classmates obviously admire the girl behind the spikes, the piercings, the bleached and blue hair.

You might remember the photo I took last year: Marian smiling in the foreground while four of her friends hugged and wept behind her. She was emotionally affected, but the feelings never broke the surface.

This year was different. She broke into tears several times when saying goodbye to her friends, some parting for the summer, others graduating and leaving forever. This was the thing that pleased me most: seeing her freer and more comfortable in expressing her feelings. I believe her art teacher especially has encouraged that.

It was her choice to move away from home, and look how she has made it work. As her principal pointed out, Marian made the decision for herself to do well. No one else made it for her. No one can.

Comments

[noveldevice.livejournal.com]

She seems extraordinary. Who is the translator of her copy of Iliad?

[ubermunkey.livejournal.com]

what a wonderful day for the both of you
be well

[daisydumont.livejournal.com]

that's excellent! good for marian! :)

[queenmomcat.livejournal.com]

I'm amused that the school is handing out copies of the Iliad as math prizes. It seems a delightful crossover between disciplines.

[dakoopst.livejournal.com]

My goodness. How wonderful a post is this?

[rfmcdpei.livejournal.com]

She's a remarkable young woman.

[willowing.livejournal.com]

this so moved me. well done to her, and to you. what a happy story. you made *me* feel proud. x

[eloquentwthrage.livejournal.com]

I have such mixed feelings about the times you post stuff like this. I've only known you a few years; I know there are people on your Friends list you've known longer. But hearing stuff like Marian growing up and succeeding beyond expectations is at once wonderful and strange. I feel like some voyeur that has no right to know.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, when is she going to get her own LiveJournal??

[ghostsandrobots.livejournal.com]

Wow! I'm proud of her. And admiring.

[missprune.livejournal.com]

Oh that is great, I am enjoying your pride vicariously. What's especially lovely is that she clearly knows how to make friends and how to cherish her friends.

[bjarvis.livejournal.com]

Wow, that's fantastic! Congrats to both her for her achievement and to her clearly proud father!

[rsc.livejournal.com]

I had the exact same reaction.

[apel.livejournal.com]

That's amazing. I remember when I first friended you how concerned you were about her and how the school was going to work out. It's wonderful to see her do well both academically and socially. You're probably aware of it but I still want to point out that your support and modeling for her how to be true to yourself probably have a lot to do with her success.

[quirkstreet.livejournal.com]

Marian continues to knock my socks off. :)

[lilactime.livejournal.com]

Congratulations to her! And to you for creating such a great kid.

[bear-left.livejournal.com]

I'm utterly delighted for you and for Marian; it is such an honor and a privilege to be able to savor such glimpses of your daughters becoming remarkable young women.

[ink-ling.livejournal.com]

Wow! I love her look! She sounds like an absolutely amazing young woman.

[blue-by-you.livejournal.com]

What an exciting life she has ahead of her with qualities like that Van. I know you're hugely proud because I feel proud just reading this. She sounds so cool.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Sorry, I have yet to read it, and don't know. I'll try to remember to check when she's here. Yes, my daughter is into the Classics.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Yup, a proud day.

Long hugs.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

My thanks on her behalf. ;-)

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Last year when Marian received an English award, she was asked beforehand what book she would like to receive, and requested Faust. Math comes naturally to her, but English is clearly one of her favourite subjects. Once again she may have been asked, or there may have been communication between the teachers. It honestly is as much a community as a school.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

See my response to the other comment. ;-)

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

You know how highly I regard good teachers. Marian has a few bright stars. As mentioned, this turnaround was her own decision, but inspiration helps.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Indeed!

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

I'm pleased that it touched you that way!

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

I think I know what you're driving at. I almost, almost, put this behind a friends-only filter, because I hate to infringe on the privacy of people close to me. At least I would rather let them speak for themselves.

What stopped me was the thought of parents who frequently get on their children's backs, telling them how to be or do, rather than letting them be themselves. It's a common plague of adolescence. Marian is certainly a talented, multifacetted girl, but also one who has found some freedom to express herself, and made the best of it. It's a story that needs telling.

I wish more adults would shut up and listen to the children and teenagers in their lives. And stop fretting about stupid things like hairstyles, and what people will think. Marian tells me things she hesitates to say to others, even her friends. I would not betray those confidences, except to say she gives them. Every child needs adults who listen without judgment. I'm happy to say Marian also has two or three teachers she is comfortable talking to about difficult matters.

she is extremely private about her writing. Her grade eight teacher mentioned to me yesterday that Marian is a beautiful writer, and I confessed she had never shown me any of it, though she has talked to me about journaling. I wonder if she is intimidated because I'm a writer. I've thought of inviting her to write on LiveJournal, but doubt she would go for it. Maybe I'm wrong.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

This seems to have affected a few people that way. I'm glad!

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Marian already seems seems in touch with her own introversion, to realize when she wants company, and to resist social demands when she wants time to herself. I believe she will be well-served by this self-knowledge.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Many thanks!

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

That's a good hope. Marian obviously will have many opportunities open to her. I've emphasized that my greatest hope, whatever she achieves, is for her happiness.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Marian seems far stronger and more self-aware than I was at her age, maybe even more than I am now. Admittedly, I frequently feel like a bad example. Your words give me something to meditate upon.

On the other hand, I believe I'm a good listener.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Mine too. I knew she had excelled this year, but the extent of it took me by surprise.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Thank you. As her principal said, she made the decision herself to turn her school experience around.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much. There is an implicit message here I want to share. It's about allowing our children to be and express themselves. I'm glad so many were moved by my writing.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

What you wouldn't know, as many on my friends list will remember, is how much she has turned her prospects around. Marian hated grade seven and refused to continue attending the same Christian school. Her mother refused to send her to public school. They agreed on this secular boarding school, and Marian was happy to move away from home.

At the beginning of grade eight, Marian began to enjoy English and excel at math, but without motivation or interest in changing her work habits she was failing French, social science and art.

Then something clicked. A few teachers seemed to see the quality behind her rebellious and apathetic exterior. She persistently bent school rules about numbers of piercings, jewellery and hair colour, but they didn't seem to mind too much. Really, she wasn't a trouble-maker.

Whatever it was, something inspired her to buckle down. By the end of last year, she was already winning awards. Grade nine has been a good solid year from the start, and it's a delight to see her enjoying the benefits of her own decisions and endeavours.

The reason she is taking grade ten science at summer school is so she can take a grade eleven anthropology course that would otherwise be difficult to schedule. I'm impressed with her enthusiasm for knowledge.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Marian loves experimenting with her image. That was last year. Right now she looks more like a young incarnation of Madonna.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000002MUW/102-7974543-6070567?v=glance&n=5174

I'll try to post uptodate photos sometime when I'm home. ;-)

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Yes, she has many opportunities open to her. I've emphasized that my greatest hope, whatever she achieves, is for her happiness. But I can't deny my pride in her abilities and thirst for knowledge.

My performance in high school was very similar to Marian's. But she has some things working for her, which I did not: she gets along well with her peers, and she knows herself better. I hope that builds her confidence for future dealings with the world outside of school.

[queenmomcat.livejournal.com]

Ah, that makes sense. It's still an interesting prize for winning a math contest; how delighted you must be (almost as much as she)

[eloquentwthrage.livejournal.com]

You won't know until you try...

[bear-left.livejournal.com]

That's all the more impressive, & thanks for the background. I had a turn around not unlike Marian's, going from high C's & low B's through 7th, 8th, & early 9th grade, & then, very quickly, subject by subject pulling myself into solid A's in almost everything by the end of ninth grade.

I hope you caught my nod to your passion for parenting in my Father's Day post the other day. I've gathered you're a rather private person, but I hope you have a good sense of how many people you've touched by sharing your journey through your words & photos on LJ.

[grandiva1968.livejournal.com]

*hugitude*

Happy Daddy.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Yupper. *snuggle*