Knows the ropes
Oct. 18th, 2006 04:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vaneramosThe new Guelph acquaintance I recently mentioned put me in contact with a bondage top via the Recon dating website. I'll call him Art. This will be the first time in more than five years I've made a date through a website, unless you count LiveJournal. We talked at length on the phone Monday and made plans to meet tomorrow evening.
My interest in casual sex has diminished considerably these five years, but I would hardly call this encounter casual. I've anticipated it for nearly a decade, my imagination growing with self-knowledge.
What usually deters me from pursuing an encounter of this kind is that most experienced rope people I know are sadistic. I say so with complete respect. Some of them are my friends. Not that I will never let them tie me up, because they would respect my limits, the fact that I like restraint without pain or humiliation. But vigilant as I am, I would have a hard time relaxing. I would fear my own inability to say no to something that appealed to them, but not to me.
I have engaged in intensely enjoyable bondage experiences with my lovers, as both bottom and top. Still, I want to go further with someone who knows the ropes.
I did not expect to find a top who shares my particular focus. Art does. Okay, he has to be a wee bit sadistic to get off on tying up another man, teasing and playing with him for a while, then undoing him only to tie another configuration, and so on for a few hours. He knows some Japanese rope bondage. I must be a wee bit masochistic to want it. But when I read he's not interested in dominance and submission, I found the perfect counterpart I want to introduce me to this pleasure. And after an hour on the phone, we were clearly on the same wavelength. In meeting and trusting a stranger to this extent, it's essential that someone who knows us both will know about our meeting.
Art also said he is not relationship-oriented, but likes finding friends he can meet for dinner beforehand, hang out with, end up cuddling and kissing. He asked to stay the night, because he's single and likes to sleep with a man now and again. We have already discussed adventures we might explore in future, if the first encounter works out. As anyone who knows me well will understand, all this lands in the middle of my arena. I savour my solitude, but sex without camaraderie simply bores me. If I can't be friends with a person, I'm not attracted, not anymore.
I don't want to build it up too much. I believe in reasonable expectations, but this event is so long looked-for that I can't help feeling excited. He asked me to hold off on orgasm for 24 hours ahead, but I like delayed gratification and started yesterday morning. At odd moments, while washing dishes or writing morning pages, our plans replay themselves in my head and I get aroused. I can't remember the last time I got a hard-on without physical or visual stimulation. I'm counting down the hours to entering the edge of that space.
Related only metaphorically to the preceding: a firework and full moon reflected in Lake Fletcher, Thanksgiving weekend on the cottage dock.
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Date: 2006-10-18 08:56 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2006-10-18 10:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-18 11:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-19 03:48 am (UTC)smooches!
Good Luck
Date: 2006-10-19 05:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-19 08:06 am (UTC)be well and have a great time
love,
connor
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Date: 2006-10-19 01:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-19 01:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-19 01:44 pm (UTC)xoxo
Re: Good Luck
Date: 2006-10-19 01:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-19 01:47 pm (UTC)Love,
Van