Crazy times

[vaneramos]

Another rough morning. I wanted to play mummy: go back to bed and roll myself in cloth in the eternal silence of my room. Things have been moving forward at an unprecedented rate. It is mostly good. Just now I'm tired and unfocused and wish it could stop, but stopping is not an option. I don't want to go back. I need to remind myself (like another friend mentioned in his journal today) I am a stronger person that I tend to feel.

So where am I in the game of tackling these financial issues? Here are the most immediate things I need to do:

1. Review my budget once more with hangnaildhole tonight and set a plan for my new way of handling money.
2. Make a list of inexpensive distractions to use when I'm tempted to spend money outside my budget.
3. Talk more with Dad this weekend about the options.
4. Fill out an application for the mortgage broker before meeting her next week.
5. Meet the mortgage broker.
6. After Dad and I have researched all my options, decide how to refinance the debt.
7. Reduce the limit on my credit card.

That final decision is probably still two weeks away. I'm anxious to put it behind me and move onto other things, but time cannot be manipulated so easily, and that's probably a good thing. This whole process is a lesson in what I am capable of, and I will need to apply it to further challenges in the future.

The Rainbow Chorus is learning choreography for one of its numbers. I hate doing choreography. My body does not seem to be connected to my brain, and my brain wants to wander off and do its own thing. Rehearsals can be stressful. Usually once a season I want to walk out, and that was last night, but of course I stuck with it then went home and crashed.

I'm looking forward to the time with Bryon this evening. Then it turns out Danny and I will spend Easter weekend with Dad and Betty at the cottage. When I talked to Dad Monday evening there was still ice on the lake and he had to drill a hole for wash water. The sun warms the valley lavishly, but the ice has nowhere to go. It can be winter and summer at the same time. I love visiting the place this time of year, but didn't think it wasn't going to work out this spring.