Bloody hell

[vaneramos]

It appears I am going to be off my feet for at least another few days. The reason is painful and easily considered TMI. I managed to get a doctor's appointment yesterday and he prescribed medication combined with home remedies to hopefully resolve it. If that doesn't work, he suggested going to emergency for what sounds like a minor surgical solution, however some online research today indicated recovery time would be two or three weeks. So I'll persist with the alternatives as long as they seem to be helping.

Fortunately Danny was here for the weekend and has stayed on, working remotely. It would be a nasty time without his help.

Don't read any further unless you really care.

I have a thrombosed hemorrhoid. The photo on that fact sheet is a lot cuter than the one I have. It's messy. It clots, it breaks, it bleeds and then clots again. The doctor's remedy:

1. Take a hot sitz bath (my pharmacist recommended using a saturated solution of epsom salts).
2. Dry off and apply an over-the-counter ointment.
3. Stand an your head for as long as is comfortable by backing up against a wall.
4. Apply an ice pack directly to the hemorrhoid.

Pleasant, eh? I do the procedure whenever it bleeds, or at least twice a day.

He prescribed Percocet and a laxative. Sunday night the pain was awful so yesterday I doped up, but that caused constipation despite the laxative, so today I've avoided Percocet. The problem still looks ugly but these remedies have relieved the pressure, so the pain is minimal. I'll probably need another pill at bedtime.

Remember that line from Margaret Cho? "And if gay men had a period? What do you mean, 'if'?"

Tampons are indispensible.