Atheism and creativity.
Jan. 22nd, 2014 03:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vaneramosA friend of mine reflected that he is no longer technically atheist. He is also a poet. This is interesting, and provoked a comment which I record here.
I had a similar epiphany a few years ago when I realized I had become an atheist. My reaction was similar to yours: "This is interesting and unexpected." It was a mystical experience. But I was a recovering evangelical Christian with emotional trauma. Cynicism certainly informed my rejection of Christianity, but I had no grievance against God. All the ideas shoring up my belief in a Creator just unraveled one day. I realized the God of the Bible was actually a reflection of human narcissism, must have been invented to establish paternalistic order, and could not have created something as beautiful and complicated nature. It came as a relief to be able to view the universe with a naturalist philosophy again (I had acquired religion at university). Still, I also mistrust the dogma of many atheists. But I believe most religion has to do with the fear of death, and it doesn't serve us well. Sometimes I have been mistaken for a Buddhist or Pagan. As a Christian I had some powerful mystical experiences. They continued for a while after I rejected orthodox religion, but dwindled. I believe they are still possible for me, but I need to reinvent the psychological structure. I'm not arguing. It seems interesting that our writing process leads us to pursue the a similar mystical experience. However, I think it may have something to do with surviving stress. I wrote my most powerful poetry when I was coming to terms with my sexuality, my marriage and church life were coming apart, my friends were rejecting me and I had nowhere to turn but to God. I held onto that mode of spirituality because I could not have survived without it. Things are different now. I am a lot happier, have lost some of the intense creative impulse that pulled me through the valley of the shadow of death. Writing requires more discipline, which is another kind of spiritual path.
I had a similar epiphany a few years ago when I realized I had become an atheist. My reaction was similar to yours: "This is interesting and unexpected." It was a mystical experience. But I was a recovering evangelical Christian with emotional trauma. Cynicism certainly informed my rejection of Christianity, but I had no grievance against God. All the ideas shoring up my belief in a Creator just unraveled one day. I realized the God of the Bible was actually a reflection of human narcissism, must have been invented to establish paternalistic order, and could not have created something as beautiful and complicated nature. It came as a relief to be able to view the universe with a naturalist philosophy again (I had acquired religion at university). Still, I also mistrust the dogma of many atheists. But I believe most religion has to do with the fear of death, and it doesn't serve us well. Sometimes I have been mistaken for a Buddhist or Pagan. As a Christian I had some powerful mystical experiences. They continued for a while after I rejected orthodox religion, but dwindled. I believe they are still possible for me, but I need to reinvent the psychological structure. I'm not arguing. It seems interesting that our writing process leads us to pursue the a similar mystical experience. However, I think it may have something to do with surviving stress. I wrote my most powerful poetry when I was coming to terms with my sexuality, my marriage and church life were coming apart, my friends were rejecting me and I had nowhere to turn but to God. I held onto that mode of spirituality because I could not have survived without it. Things are different now. I am a lot happier, have lost some of the intense creative impulse that pulled me through the valley of the shadow of death. Writing requires more discipline, which is another kind of spiritual path.
