The anticlimax

[vaneramos]

The homecare nurse paid her final visit today. Mostly the two incisions on my belly have turned into pink scars. The last small opening has finally closed, so it doesn't need to be packed with gauze, and it has started to form a scab. I asked Cathy to show me how I should bandage it from now on.

"Do you have a Bandaid?" she replied.

That took me by surprise. Obviously that's all I need. But looking at my belly I still see all the trouble I have come through the past six months.

This was the anticlimax and the end of being a patient.

Comments

[missprune.livejournal.com]

Seems like reason enough to celebrate, but I think I can sense your ambivalent emotions... While going through that long ordeal, you experienced being loved and cared for... It's easy to understand why being "cut loose" from caregiving (at least in the formal sense) could feel a little... what, unsettling perhaps.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

I live alone. To be quite honest, I'll miss the homecare nurses who have come in every morning since the last surgery in March.

Besides that the whole experience gave me a sense of purpose. It was an obstacle to overcome, and I managed marvelously. The day before the colostomy was reversed, I actually experienced feelings of grief, like I was saying goodbye. Whatever those feelings meant, I know I have arrived at the end of a chapter. What now?

Have a Goal..

[q-knox.livejournal.com]

And now you move on with the next chapter, where it be love or chaos make your life a voyage and stay focus on what matters most, you.

Re: Have a Goal..

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

You have no idea how important that advice is for me right now. I will try to take it to heart. I have given myself a good assignment for tomorrow. More on this later.

[stephe.livejournal.com]

Better an anticlimax than a new disaster. Actually, I find myself feeling this way whenever I finish a major project. It took me a long time to learn to just relax and enjoy the feeling.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Interesting observation. I wonder if that's part of the reason I have trouble finishing projects: the anticlimax. I'll remember how you handle it.