How fiction reflects life

[vaneramos]

You know how grumpy and stressed I was feeling yesterday. Well, I went for a walk to try and unwind.

I was wandering through the woods when someone came along with a couple dogs running ahead of her. She kept calling them back, but one ran right up to me and started barking aggressively, circling around like a guard dog keeping a thief at bay. I froze. The owner came running up, apologizing, but boy did I let her have it! If the dog isn't trained to behave appropriately around strangers, it shouldn't be off a lead. The owner was only about 15, pretty, smartly dressed and polite, and I started to feel sorry I had yelled at her. I was like another dog barking back. On the other hand, every word I said was appropriate. She deserved a tongue-lashing. I was scared out of my wits, and hate to think of it happening to one of the elderly people who walk through our park.

I walked home livid. When I opened the door, some junk fell in front of me. The kid upstairs had set a booby trap as a practical joke, probably intended for one of his parents coming home, but that was the second time it happened to me.

I came in, sat down, and wrote Chapter 25: more than 600 words describing how Tendril utters a scream of rage.

Comments

[bitterlawngnome.livejournal.com]

Taser.

[ubermunkey.livejournal.com]

taser for the owner or the animal?

[bitterlawngnome.livejournal.com]

Yes.

[ubermunkey.livejournal.com]

How do you feel now? How did that interaction help or hinder your current feelings about the book and life? What do you do to express your rage in a more physical form?

If you ever get out to arizona or I get near you up there I'd love the chance to give you massage. I love massage it is a passion for me, such a deep connection through touch and sensual communication. I resonate with that trapped rage you allude to, and can only imagine the muscular release that would result. You know how the body stores emotion and trauma? A good massage goes along way to begin the healing or expression of such emotion/trauma. Do you have anyone there who could work with you?

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

How do I feel about it? It was a highly unusual reaction for me. I'm an avoider, and not inclined to get angry easily, or to know how to express it when I do. I have never done anything violent in my life. I could not. I have a difficult relationship with anger, but rage is something I hardly ever experience. That's why yesterday's experience was so unusual for me. It was all about fear and adrenalin. I think my reaction was reasonable under the circumstances. Of course it didn't make me feel any better about what happened.

I'm much more inclined to be passive and depressive. Of course massage benefits people like me, too. I enjoyed a few sessions of therapeutic massage during my worst bout of depression in 1995, but unfortunately I don't have any way of affording it now. You know I would love a massage from you, and if fortune is good to us, we'll have the chance.

Lately I have started using writing to explore my anger. My worst fear is that I'll be unaware of my negative feelings, let them turn me cold, push people away and prevent me from developing sustained intimacy with anyone. This seems like a good time to work on it because for the past couple years I have been breaking out of isolation. I finally have a good group of friends and a romantic relationship which is 100 per cent pleasant, so I'm working from a place of strength. These writing exercise contributed to the expression of rage I wrote yesterday.

It felt good to be able to acknowledge that I was angry, even to admit it in a post on LJ.

[xtc-cub.livejournal.com]

If we had more responisble pet owners we wouldn't have to worry about scenes like that. Some people have pets and never train them at all.
As a pet owner I keep my dog on a lead when walking in unfamilliar territory and my dog never leaves my side.
It's irresponsible behaviour and you were correct in reading her the riot act. Regardless if she was nice and proper, she needs to be told for your safety and her animals safety.

Don't feel bad. Someone had to say something and I'm sure if it wasn't you it would have been someone with a lot less tact.

**My Two Cents**

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Thanks a lot. I agree. This park is one of the few areas in the city designated for allowing dogs off their leads. I like dogs and don't mind mind sharing the park with most of them. There are no bad dogs, just irresponsbile owners. If an animal can't behave appropriately around strangers it shouldn't be allowed to run free.