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Improvement
Dec. 16th, 2003 02:45 pmAfter that Friday evening post about depression my mood improved. In hindsight I was already on an upswing. Saturday—and each morning since then—I woke up feeling normal instead of anxious and resentful, which is my most obvious indicator. Here are some things that probably contributed to the improvement:
I realize that depression is an illness that requires treatment, and a grin-and-bear-it approach does not do the trick. Using one's head to get out of depression will not work if the brain is malfunctioning. My cognitive approach has evolved out of years of medication and therapy, and learning what actions can make a difference. I think I beat it this time, but my rule of thumb is that if it goes on for more than two weeks without relief I will speak to a doctor.
I'm not out of the woods. This is a hard time of year and I'm still scared out of my skin about being unemployed, but at least I don't feel like I'm eating myself from the inside.
I want to especially thank my friends who took time to offer encouragement directly or indirectly, and generally the LJ community, which ameliorates my sense of isolation when other relationships aren't going so well; also for the opportunity to acknowledge and discuss it.
I won't offer any snow pictures today. It's raining. Rain I can handle. Snow I can handle. But rain on snow? Not today.
I'm not going to the park. I'm going shopping.
- Daily walks. They had become sporadic. Wednesday I got back in the habit. Daylight is the most important benefit (there are others) but it takes several days to kick in. There's no quick fix, and I have to be disciplined about it, which is annoying. Sitting and sulking is easier, except it becomes toxic and agonizing after a while.
- Acknowledging that I was depressed. That's the hardest part. Nobody wants to be overcome by misery, especially after being taught to believe that depression equals imcompetence. Facing the problem and realizing I can do something about it is the biggest part of the battle.
- Talking to people about it. Emotional isolation is an important symptom (in my case) and it feeds back into the problem. Staying connected with people keeps me well.
I realize that depression is an illness that requires treatment, and a grin-and-bear-it approach does not do the trick. Using one's head to get out of depression will not work if the brain is malfunctioning. My cognitive approach has evolved out of years of medication and therapy, and learning what actions can make a difference. I think I beat it this time, but my rule of thumb is that if it goes on for more than two weeks without relief I will speak to a doctor.
I'm not out of the woods. This is a hard time of year and I'm still scared out of my skin about being unemployed, but at least I don't feel like I'm eating myself from the inside.
I want to especially thank my friends who took time to offer encouragement directly or indirectly, and generally the LJ community, which ameliorates my sense of isolation when other relationships aren't going so well; also for the opportunity to acknowledge and discuss it.
I won't offer any snow pictures today. It's raining. Rain I can handle. Snow I can handle. But rain on snow? Not today.
I'm not going to the park. I'm going shopping.
