Good post day; Remeron update

The planets must have been aligned right. My friends pages always offer good reading, but today the content was exceptional. I want to highlight three posts.

♥ everything's coming up roses, a poem by daisydumont: words to live by.

♥ Bear icons: Whitman and Thoreau, commentary on two of my favourite writers, by lowfatmuffin

♥ dear jim henson, a tribute by ghostsandrobots



Paeonia

~~~~~~~~~~

It has been a week since I started taking Remeron. Despite some initial qualms I'm feeling positive about it. During the first few days, besides that strange sense of detachment I already mentioned, I experienced some irritability and restlessness. By Monday that had subsided, and given way to more positive effects.

The most obvious benefit is that I'm sleeping more. Normally I only get six hours or less per night, but for the past week I've been sleeping at least eight. I need to adjust my routine, because I always go to bed around 1 a.m. so I have been sleeping until almost 10. That won't work very well, particularly during the summer. Over the next few nights I want to try moving bedtime up to 10:30 p.m. It won't come easily to me.

With this extra sleep, it's obvious to me that I should already have more energy and interest for creative work, not to mention feeling less anxious. And indeed I have. I don't buy the argument that these changes can't happen so quickly and I might be imagining them. To a marginal insomniac, more rest equals feeling better.

On the other hand, Remeron is more than a sleeping pill. Whether it can help me change the things I must, remains to be seen.

This morning I had to phone the plumber to come fix my kitchen tap. He was obviously busy and spoke abruptly. I immediately experienced a stab of anxiety, but it didn't get me down for long. He said he couldn't come until tomorrow. I said that would be fine.

One of the Rules my family had was: "Don't bother anyone. Stay out of the way." I have stories about that. One of my most deeply rooted fears is of causing trouble or inconvenience.

I need to get in the way when it's called for, like calling the plumber to do his job. It can be unpleasant at times, I'm sure, but that's his chosen profession, and my landlord pays him to fix my pipes. I had to remind myself: It's not my fault the tap started running last night.

And I can stop worrying about it now.




Eramosa River Park, this afternoon

Nighstalker

Right here on the arm of my chair, just now. The image is close to life size. I've been sitting here in the semi-dark with just the light from the living room. I felt something tickling my leg a few minutes ago. I don't remember their classification, but I think one of their common names is nightstalker. They're nocturnal, predatory and beneficial. It was probably looking for a moth or a fly. It has gone outside now.