The hypnopompic state

Alongside a railroad track this afternoon

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Recently I had a discussion with artricia about hypnagogic and hypnopompic states. These are the semiconscious states that occur between waking and sleeping, and sleeping and waking, respectively. The skeptic's dictionary says that for some people these may be times of visual and auditory hallucination.

Marian had a bad cold last week. Wednesday afternoon after her last class she went back to the dorm instead of outside for the usual sports events. She had a nap. When she awoke, she saw a group of people sitting and standing around her bed. She asked them to leave but they didn't move. She was fully aware it was a hallucination, but it didn't disturb her except for the annoyance of having people around her bed.

I've never had vivid hallucinations myself. Admittedly I was half incredulous when she told her story.

Most of my life I slept less than six hours per night. Five hours was normal, but it never seemed enough. I always felt on the verge of exhaustion, and the smallest problem could send me into weeks of depression. But my sleeping habits have improved dramatically since June when I started taking mirtazapine or Remeron, an antidepressant intended to alleviate anxiety symptoms. Now I regularly sleep seven to eight hours. My anxiety symptoms have not improved, however I am not as prone to depression.

I experience a marked sedative effect about 90 minutes after taking my pill in the evening. It comes on quite suddenly, so that I often doze off at my computer. This is a good thing. Normally I'm a night owl, inclined to sit up until 3 or 4 in the morning playing computer games. Nowadays I take the medication around 11:30 or 12. By 1:30 I'm nodding. It only takes a little willpower to head toward the comfort of my futon.

Then comes an interesting moment. As I pull off my clothes and turn out the light, I'm fully aware that within two minutes I will be sound asleep. This is a new experience to someone who is naturally a mild insomniac. Getting to sleep used to be a protracted struggle.

As I lay my head on the pillow, I'm aware that the images I call to mind will sow the seeds of whatever dreams may come. For a few seconds I'm not certain whether I'm asleep or awake. My mind switches from abstract thought to envisioning. A remote door clicks open between consciousness and the subconscious. I'm intrigued to find I have some control over these experiences. I hover ever so briefly. And they are the closest things to hallucinations I have ever had.

But then I slide down the steep slope into shadow and forgetfulness. By the time I wake eight hours later, I can barely remember the beginning of the story. Last night it started with a dark hill silhouetted against the stars....