The hypnopompic state

[vaneramos]

Alongside a railroad track this afternoon

~~~~~~~~~~

Recently I had a discussion with artricia about hypnagogic and hypnopompic states. These are the semiconscious states that occur between waking and sleeping, and sleeping and waking, respectively. The skeptic's dictionary says that for some people these may be times of visual and auditory hallucination.

Marian had a bad cold last week. Wednesday afternoon after her last class she went back to the dorm instead of outside for the usual sports events. She had a nap. When she awoke, she saw a group of people sitting and standing around her bed. She asked them to leave but they didn't move. She was fully aware it was a hallucination, but it didn't disturb her except for the annoyance of having people around her bed.

I've never had vivid hallucinations myself. Admittedly I was half incredulous when she told her story.

Most of my life I slept less than six hours per night. Five hours was normal, but it never seemed enough. I always felt on the verge of exhaustion, and the smallest problem could send me into weeks of depression. But my sleeping habits have improved dramatically since June when I started taking mirtazapine or Remeron, an antidepressant intended to alleviate anxiety symptoms. Now I regularly sleep seven to eight hours. My anxiety symptoms have not improved, however I am not as prone to depression.

I experience a marked sedative effect about 90 minutes after taking my pill in the evening. It comes on quite suddenly, so that I often doze off at my computer. This is a good thing. Normally I'm a night owl, inclined to sit up until 3 or 4 in the morning playing computer games. Nowadays I take the medication around 11:30 or 12. By 1:30 I'm nodding. It only takes a little willpower to head toward the comfort of my futon.

Then comes an interesting moment. As I pull off my clothes and turn out the light, I'm fully aware that within two minutes I will be sound asleep. This is a new experience to someone who is naturally a mild insomniac. Getting to sleep used to be a protracted struggle.

As I lay my head on the pillow, I'm aware that the images I call to mind will sow the seeds of whatever dreams may come. For a few seconds I'm not certain whether I'm asleep or awake. My mind switches from abstract thought to envisioning. A remote door clicks open between consciousness and the subconscious. I'm intrigued to find I have some control over these experiences. I hover ever so briefly. And they are the closest things to hallucinations I have ever had.

But then I slide down the steep slope into shadow and forgetfulness. By the time I wake eight hours later, I can barely remember the beginning of the story. Last night it started with a dark hill silhouetted against the stars....

Comments

hypnopompic states

[queenmomcat.livejournal.com]

Stephe's had those; wierd!

Re: hypnopompic states

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Yes, I gather that's where some stories of alien abduction come from. Weird indeed.

[ubermunkey.livejournal.com]

pretty wild stuff, i like that you are doing the work of the soul. you aren't settling for the fluff but getting to the meat of it, so to speak,

and the image of the chain. well, lovely shadow but it brings out my darker side and makes me crave rough sex. what's with that?

be well

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the chain had sexual overtones for me, too. I have a fetish for restraint. Mostly I like sex tender, but with a guy who knows how to do roughness the right way, it is mind-blowing. I wrestled with an LJ friend in Montreal last July, been fantasizing about it ever since. He is a little smaller but more experienced and definitely had the upper hand. And he is a top, so much the better. But if I keep working out regularly, maybe I'll give him a better run for his money next time we meet.

The soul work, yeah. Something cool happened last night....

I used to meditate more often. One exercise I used was "Meeting your Wise Being." Really a tool for getting in touch with your own wisdom. I always enjoy it, but haven't done it in a while.

So last night as I was crawling into bed, half-conscious, I opened my journal and wrote something at the top of the page like, "I'm going to meet my Wise Being." I left it open and in reach in hopes of having dreams to record.

When I got out of bed this morning the page was blank and I couldn't remember a thing. But wow, my mind was wide open. I sat down to do my handwritten journal pages and it was more of an adventure than usual. All these ripe ideas, profound insights. I don't know whether it had anything to do with my quest for wisdom at bedtime last night, but I have to think so.