Feeling useful

From March 1: a backwards glance at winter along the Eramosa River


This has been an interesting week. I had the experience on Sunday, best described as heart-warming, of having a new acquaintance come out to me. He is roughly my age, bisexual, and until now had only told two or three therapists, so I was the first non-professional. He went on this week to tell a colleague, the relative he lives with, and other significant people, all with surprisingly positive responses. I saw him in person this afternoon and he was glowing as I had never seen before. This is a man who is, like me, painfully shy, so it was a delight to see indications of exuberance.

To be able to be there for someone, to seem approachable in a world that is frequently hostile, means more to me and makes me feel successful as a human being in a way that outweighs all inadequacies and failures. In fact another party commented in front of me today, "Van is good to talk to." I don't have many answers, but do so love to empathize, and sometimes that's the only answer a friend is looking for.

Combining this with recent powers of concentration for creative endeavour, I feel full and rich.