Cancer positively

A friend is facing the loss of her husband to cancer. It raises the question of positive outlook, so important in healing.

When Mom was diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer, she initially considered refusing treatment. "I've had a good life," she said. She was 69 and had never been seriously ill. The indignities of chemo and radiation did not appeal. Her attitude upset some family members who wanted her to try everything.

I said, "It's your life, and your choice to make." Mom's sister, a retired nurse, also reacted calmly and supportively.

We, the healthy, must offer seriously ill loved ones reassurance that we'll survive without them. Hysteria or stubborn denial will not help them enjoy whatever time remains. People misunderstand good attitude: "positive thinking" is not equivalent. We will all face death, whether gracefully or miserably. With aggressive cancer, one must acknowledge the possibility, make most of opportunities, and not expect miracles.

I'm glad Mom opted for chemo. Facing death calmly does not mean giving up. Undoubtedly, her resistance to despair contributed to her recovery and enjoyment of life since 2002. I wish the same confidence for cancer patients everywhere, and for those loved ones facing life without them.