Passage

I worked 28.5 hours for Les this week. I had Thursday off, but helped him organize his shop for several hours this afternoon. Apparently his previous assistant wasn't handy with tools, but I can handle a hand drill or ratchet set. Yesterday he assigned me tasks fixing superficial problems while he tinkered with the electromechanical vibrato mechanism of an organ. He approves of my work. My lifelong sense of incompetence and uselessness is nowhere in sight. I can contribute to his efficiency. Not only do I enjoy working for Les, but he is good-humoured company.

Today I got paid for the week—a better hourly wage than I had expected. With full-time hours I will be able to live on this wage and relieve my parents of my financial dependence. I called them with the good news tonight. We will ease through this transition, which will give me some leeway to pay down some debts.

Meanwhile I have continued work on the narrative for the January concert. This morning I met with the production committee to show them what I've written so far and get feedback. The stories brought two people to tears, which means more than words. They did not express any criticism. I still have a lot of work to do on that.

I am tired, happy and mildly bewildered at the good turn my life has taken.

I feel like I haven't been getting much out of LiveJournal lately. Maybe I need to put more into it, but haven't the time or inclination. I'm undergoing a huge life transition. My social needs are being met in different ways, and when I come home I'm content to be alone for a couple hours.

I don't know about creativity. Frankly, my posts have received less response lately, and I'm losing interest in posting. Maybe I need to rethink what I'm writing and why. Actually, I'm not needing as much attention. Maybe creativity will grow like mushrooms in the dark. I'm confident a new way of living and doing art will fall into place.

I have many friends here who I care about deeply, miss, and don't want to fall out of touch. But I need to take a sabbatical from the routine of posting and reading here. I'll drop in, when I can. This is not the unhappy neglect of depression; it is a necessity of adjusting to a new lifestyle. I will be happy to correspond by email with anyone who cares to, and will likely resume contributing here, but with different priorities, once my life has settled into a new routine.