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Been finding it hard to write lately, particularly on LJ but not only. Often in the past this has manifested as a symptom of depression. Ironically this time it comes from contentment.
I like cohabiting. For years I concentrated on independence—the idea that I mustn't rely on anyone else to facilitate being who I am. I came a long way with that purpose. But now Danny is here I rediscover a ready motivation from having someone else around. For example I love cooking, but it's much more inspiring to cook a decent meal to share with someone. So I do some food preparation every day. Each Saturday morning I plan meals for the week and then we go to farmers' market and bring home only what we need. Not much goes to waste.
Some of this also has to do with living in a nice house with enough space. Clutter can occur without becoming immediately oppressive or depressing. Sooner or later we get around to dealing with it, long before it obstructs our capacity for creativity and hospitality.
A little voice inside tells me I should be more adaptable to solitude and humble circumstances. But it's better to concentrate on the here and now and what seems to be working better for me than what I had before.
Coincidentally he finished work on Dec. 16 and I was laid off on Dec. 19, so we are both unemployed. He has been taking a sabbatical and I expect to get back to work in a few weeks. We're not in dire straits, and I'm enjoying the vacation. I've dabbled a little at writing web content, nothing lucrative enought to come anywhere near sustainable.
On the other hand, fibre has mounted into a compelling drive. I've worked at knitting and weaving hours each day. Recently a nice stole came off my floor loom. It's one of my first complete home projects and I think it's one of the loveliest yarn things I've ever created. The weft is Berroco Ultra Alpaca Fine and the warp includes the same yarn alternating rows with a boucle yarn I bought from Decadent Fibers at the Southern Adirondack Fiber Festival in New York last fall. I'm happy to be in the zone.
My inner magnetic field has started pulling me back toward writing, but I need to approach it differently. Like Jesus, it will not actually save or make me whole. It is a choice. It is something I once did well, a tool in my arsenal. I can use it again.
I realize much of my old motivation to interact on LJ came from loneliness. With that gone my inner world needs reorganization. We always need friends, but at this stage of my life perhaps the impulse must come (like writing) more from choice than from urge. I do miss you. So how are you?
I like cohabiting. For years I concentrated on independence—the idea that I mustn't rely on anyone else to facilitate being who I am. I came a long way with that purpose. But now Danny is here I rediscover a ready motivation from having someone else around. For example I love cooking, but it's much more inspiring to cook a decent meal to share with someone. So I do some food preparation every day. Each Saturday morning I plan meals for the week and then we go to farmers' market and bring home only what we need. Not much goes to waste.
Some of this also has to do with living in a nice house with enough space. Clutter can occur without becoming immediately oppressive or depressing. Sooner or later we get around to dealing with it, long before it obstructs our capacity for creativity and hospitality.
A little voice inside tells me I should be more adaptable to solitude and humble circumstances. But it's better to concentrate on the here and now and what seems to be working better for me than what I had before.
Coincidentally he finished work on Dec. 16 and I was laid off on Dec. 19, so we are both unemployed. He has been taking a sabbatical and I expect to get back to work in a few weeks. We're not in dire straits, and I'm enjoying the vacation. I've dabbled a little at writing web content, nothing lucrative enought to come anywhere near sustainable.
On the other hand, fibre has mounted into a compelling drive. I've worked at knitting and weaving hours each day. Recently a nice stole came off my floor loom. It's one of my first complete home projects and I think it's one of the loveliest yarn things I've ever created. The weft is Berroco Ultra Alpaca Fine and the warp includes the same yarn alternating rows with a boucle yarn I bought from Decadent Fibers at the Southern Adirondack Fiber Festival in New York last fall. I'm happy to be in the zone.
My inner magnetic field has started pulling me back toward writing, but I need to approach it differently. Like Jesus, it will not actually save or make me whole. It is a choice. It is something I once did well, a tool in my arsenal. I can use it again.
I realize much of my old motivation to interact on LJ came from loneliness. With that gone my inner world needs reorganization. We always need friends, but at this stage of my life perhaps the impulse must come (like writing) more from choice than from urge. I do miss you. So how are you?
