Pride

[vaneramos]

uberdaddybear's Uberfun Writing Task of the Day:

As we go into pride this year, what are you proud of? Why? and does it have anything to do with the fact that your gay?


Pride for me means standing up to those who tell us we should be ashamed of ourselves. It doesn't mean looking down on anyone or presuming my way is the best or only way; that is a different kind of pride called arrogance. Queer Pride should set an example of tolerance and goodwill toward people who think or act differently. The GLBT community has far to go in overcoming its own prejudices, but we're human after all.

I'm proud of my chosen family: my children and friends. I'm proud of being a gay father, single and polyamorous. I dislike labels, but these ones identify the way I relate to people. Without my relationships nobody can get a clear picture of who I am. If I went back to hiding or trying to change that part of myself it would be like cutting off my feet.

I'm proud of having survived rejection by most of the people I loved when I came out of the closet seven years ago. I didn't give up. I weathered years of serious depression. Sometimes the only thing that kept me going was my determination to prove that religious ostracism couldn't destroy me. Maybe that was the wrong reason to stay alive, but it worked when I needed it. My faith worked when I needed it, too. Now I follow a different spiritual path more meaningful to me, and life is worth living for its own sake. I have overcome my hostility toward people who treated me badly or ignored me when I needed friends. I'm happier than ever before.

My sexuality is connected to the way I express myself creatively. I'm proud of being a writer, poet and artist.

Life is all about learning. I'm proud that I'm willing to let the evidence change my mind about people and ideas.

Comments

[lotuspoet.livejournal.com]

And I'm proud of you! I totally feel like my sexuality i part of my creativity too. Sometimes I think that sexuality is a larger part of me that society would like it to be. Its part of my personality. A very powerful part of it.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

If we keep sexuality in the closet, like a bunch of skeletons, it will come out and haunt us every so often. Sexuality is a big part of the way we relate to each other. Society doesn't like to admit how important it is. Acknowledging it, as you do, is healthier. Your words are encouraging.

[quirkstreet.livejournal.com]

Yeah, you. I agree. It's pride about being ourselves in the face of messages that we shouldn't be who we are, not pride about being better than someone else.

Great words.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Thanks for your words, Pete.

Thanks, also, for helping to lift the stigma (which I still feel) from polyamory.

[quirkstreet.livejournal.com]

Polyamory is complex--let yourself feel whatever *you* need to feel about it. There is definite stigma around it; it's also genuinely NOT for everyone, which makes it difficult sorting out stigma-induced feelings from our own inner voices. I think some people may also go in and out of more-monogamous and more-polyamorous times in life. But I think it's WONDERFUL you're open to finding out what works for you.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

The stigma is entirely external. I could blame my family's ambiguity toward my gayness (being polyamorous would be one more obstacle to tolerance). I could blame the conservative gay community in this small, liberal city. Until now I have only admitted it in personal ads and conversations with close friends.

I have steered toward "open relationships" practically since I came out of the closet. It is what works for me. Unfortunately it hasn't worked with most of the guys I have dated. It's at least part of the reason I remain single.

Lately I am confused about my sexuality. I have suddenly lost interest in being promiscuous. I have felt "more-monogamous" before, but it always happened when I was in love. Now I am just....content with being alone, not altogether happy with it. I'm not sure what all this means. But I still believe polyamory is a more stable condition for me.