New frontiers

[vaneramos]

Photo: Danny in Elora yesterday.

~~~~~~~~~~

If I gave you a map of my skin you would know it better than I do, all its rivers and forests, valleys and peaks. Yes, especially the peaks. You could show me the darkest jungles and the wide hungry deserts, the places where I crave lovers to make winding trails, leave footprints where no one else has dared explore. This week it felt like a thin veil was pulled away and I lay naked under the sun, my skin sensitive to its light.

When Mom went through chemotherapy her skin became especially vulnerable. The sun would make her sick. She who loved gardening all her life. Not just gardening, the whole outdoors. Yes, it is from her more than anyone else that I acquired my love of nature. The mother who wasn't afraid of frogs, snakes, mice or spiders. The one who taught me the name of every bird and flower in the garden.

How must it be for those children who are so sick they have to be closed in special tents. They can't be exposed to any germs. Why is it? Because their immune systems are useless? Or severe asthma? How would it be if we had to avoid touch? I think I would go mad. Take my sight. Take my hearing. Take sex, yes, even that. Just promise me I will be free to lie in your arms again and feel the trail of your fingers, the press of your lips, the ecstasy of your closeness.

I dropped Danny off at the bus station at 4:45, and that will be the last time for a while, not because he won't be back for a visit, but because I'm losing the Sunfire at long last. Yes, this holiday of mobility must come to an end. Tuesday I'll drive the car down to my parents' house, and Wednesday morning they'll bring me back to Guelph en route to the cottage.

So the rhythm of my life, of going and coming, will change again. The hardest part of all will be that GroceryGateway.com has stopped delivering to the area. Without a car, grocery shopping becomes a chore again. Not a dreadful chore, mind you, just enough of a deterrent that I'm prone to neglect it. I have this wonderful Boxed Meat Revolution right across the street, where I can buy cheap meat. Frozen vegetables and dairy products are also looked after. Besides that, it's a 10 minute walk to Angelino's, the excellent Italian grocer. It's a little pricey, though, particularly produce, and there will always be those few necessary things I can't buy there, like sunflower seeds, certain spices and canned products I like, toilet paper and facial tissues, and the right kind of garbage bags for Guelph's compost and recycling program. This winter I will have to start braving the half-hour walk to Zehr's supermarket, then riding home by bus or cab. This will require planning. I used to avoid making that trip altogether, and ended up going without too many things. I need to look after my diet and household. A few simple things make everyday life less frustrating and more enjoyable.

Comments

[winterknight.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I'm sorry about the car. I'm just going to email you the rest of this comment. :)

[ubermunkey.livejournal.com]

the places where I crave lovers to make winding trails



WOW,

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Mmm-hmmm.

Cheers. :-)

[eloquentwthrage.livejournal.com]

Danny looks scrumptious!

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

He is!

[handlebear.livejournal.com]

Danny look like someone out of a russian novel.

I know how hard it is to be without a car and the time it takes to plan trips with buses. I'm sorry you have to do it in winter. Do we need to check up on you getting to the supermarket?

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

I can see Danny starring in a remake of Doctor Zhivago. He's handsome enough.

With the smaller stores close by, I can probably manage with a big trip to the supermarket about once a month. Fortunately a good friend has offered to give me rides when I need them, so it doesn't appear to be as much of a problem as I had anticipated.

[handlebear.livejournal.com]

I won't worry so much then:)