Well held

[vaneramos]

Browsing old pics that didn't make it into my journal. Marian: from Toronto, July 11.

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Years ago when I worked as a public relations writer for World Vision Canada, we had chapel services every Wednesday at 10 am. These included hymns and a teaching, often given by the president or one of the vice-presidents, as if they were pastors with some kind of spiritual authority beyond the usual sense. Boss-priests, if you will.

But occasionally the podium would be given to a guest, usually staff from one of our field offices in the Third World. These tended to be more interesting. All those lessons have long since vanished into the pool of forgetfulness, except for one. I can't remember who the speaker was, but his topic was being "well held." It had something to do with being held in God's hands; the wholeness or holism that comes from being surrounded with love in a community devoted to social development.

When I met manhattan and themage for coffee on Friday afternoon, manhattan and I compared notes about our shared backgrounds in evangelical churches. She was raised in a religious family. I was not, but opted into one at the age of 19. We both feel the experience was hazardous to our mental health.

But on one point we lauded the churches: they have the concept of community down pat. No one in her family's church every went hungry or without clothes. She and her brother used to shovel walks for all the seniors in their congregation.

My church, being a campus-oriented ministry, consisted almost entirely of people between 18 and 40 years old. As the group aged and began marrying and having families, we went into high gear looking after one another. Before I was married, I used to babysit for one couple for free. We did these things for one another as part of the family of God's children. When Marian and Brenna were born, we could count on two weeks of free meals provided by our friends, delivered to our door.

The church was not as good at ensuring our real mental health needs were appropriately understood and responded to, but that's another matter. They understood the principle of community; if they could have gone a step further to embracing religious tolerance and sexual diversity, they would have had a powerful tool indeed.

Meeting manhattan and themage was a good reminder that I'm still part of a less organized community. Not long after I came out of the closet I played Magic: The Gathering, a collectible card game, with themage and several other guys in 1997 and 1998. I was aware of manhattan's writing endeavours, but it wasn't until after she found me again on LJ last year that we started connecting as writers. I look forward to spending more time with them in the future.

I have a lot more on my mind about community today. On Friday djjo brought my Christmas gift from him, bitterlawngnome and danthered: a new space heater. So I won't be cold this winter after all.

Last night Danny and I went to hear the Rainbow Chorus give its December concert. Besides enjoying the performance, I was pleased to reconnect with friends I have hardly seen this fall. I realized that not only have I missed the choir, but a number of people made it clear they had missed me. I will sing with them again in January. It reminded me that I still have a community, if I only make the choice of investing something in it. I did, as a matter of fact, volunteer at the door as gofer.

I have a lot more to say about community, but the ideas aren't forming well this morning, and anyway, it can hardly be said in a 15-minute timed writing. I believe we all need to be well held, and it's a choice we have to make. Intentional communities are those in which we offer our abilities, resources and gifts in exchange for whatever we need in return. It is not a thing to be exploited for personal gain. We must be prepared to contribute.

Comments

[writer00.livejournal.com]

I really hope you are able to come visit us soon, because your community stretches all the way to Pittsburgh. I look forward to us all sitting down together for a nice cup of tea or coffee, and what is sure to be some amazing conversation.

[ghostsandrobots.livejournal.com]

Seconding that.

Staying connected to a community is something I've never been very good at for some reason. The more time goes by though, the more I realize how important it is and why.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

I think a lot of people these days live that way. It's a product of modern transportation and so on. I'm not sure it's healthy for our society for so many people to be living isolated lives. Oh well, obviously I could go on about this for a while. I need to go hug Danny before he leaves to catch his bus.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Eric, I look forward to it, too. I used to have reservations about cyber communities, but LJ is changing that; at least I see how cyber relationships can enhance and intersect with the face-to-face ones. Hopefully I can plan a trip to Pittsburgh sometime in the spring.

[rfmcdpei.livejournal.com]

Last night Danny and I went to hear the Rainbow Chorus give its December concert.

Huh, you too.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Of course, that is "my" choir. I usually sing with them, but I took this season off. Why, do you know someone else who was there?

[ubermunkey.livejournal.com]

great entry

for some reason I am not up for community, not that I don't like the concept. I guess I have just never expereinced it. it sounds lovely and is something to aspire to. be well

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Communities may be more or less informal. If you have a "chosen family" or circle of friends who you try to be there for, that is a community in a sense. Some people do not even have that. Four years ago I did not have any close friends.