New Year's night

[vaneramos]

Street juggler at First Night, New Year's Eve.

~~~~~~~~~~

The event at the Old Distillery last night turned out to be a waste of time in most ways. It was poorly organized, the entertainment was scattered among several buildings, and we had a hard time figuring out what was going on where. My own immediate family has become a diverse audience, too; Marian wasn't interested in the jazz and blues offering.

Personally, if I could have afforded to sink into a quite inner space, forget about what anyone else wanted, I might have wandered around the Old Distillery indefinitely. The sensation of moving through a festive crowd at night, the play of lights across ancient stone walls and arched windows, jazz music fading in and out as we wandered up and down bustling alleys: these were mesmerizing. Christmas lights shimmered on water covering the small rink; a few people were still skating. The air was unseasonably mild. Those sensations were fit to experience alone, or perhaps with a lover or group of close friends when you're high or drunk and nothing matters but the company and impressions of passing masks and costumes, changing textures of conversation.

Children require a different quality of entertainment, something more structured.

Marian is emerging from childhood. She would have been satisfied to "mill about," but not in that particular environment. Later, after we had attempted Nathan Phillips Square but been deterred by the vast crowd, she wanted to wander up and down Queen Street, absorb its edgy energy. By then we had passed midnight; Danny, Brenna and I were tired, with the older ones creaky of hip and blistered of foot.

But I am like Marian, at ease in the night. I love a forest's absolute darkness, but the throbbing dreams of city shadows are equally entrancing. With vision reduced, other senses come to the fore: the smell of spices wafting from an Indian restaurant, two clusters of partiers hooting in response as they pass on opposite sides of the street, a man's cologne, the sour salt stench of the homeless. Night is magic.

At midnight we stopped in the median of University Avenue, sat together on a bench and listened as the distant crowd rose in a single roar. The lanes were jammed with traffic. All the cars started honking. New Year's greetings rose from clusters of pedestrians in every direction. A few silver fireworks erupted over buildings obstructing our view of City Hall. I leaned to Danny in front of all those cars and pecked him on the lips.

Comments

[ciddyguy.livejournal.com]

I leaned to Danny in front of all those cars and pecked him on the lips.

Mmmm, such a brave man. LOL. Hey, I'm with ya there. When John was free and we were dating back in Sept, we were not unabashed about out liking each other in public. :-)

Happy New Year to you!

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Personally, I am unabashed about holding hands and similar displays of public affection. My rule of thumb is: if I would have done it with my wife, I refuse to feel embarrassed about doing it with a man. Long steamy kisses on busy street corners are just rude, but I get a warm fuzzy feeling whenever I see gay men or lesbians holding hands outside the ghetto.

Best wishes for you in 2005, John.

[ciddyguy.livejournal.com]

Thanks Van.

I had to tease a little, especially as how you wrote that sentence, knowing full well you were unabashed about it all.

I'm with you about the steamy kisses and the like in public, that is indeed rude, crude and socially unacceptable. Holding hands and such, now you're talking. ;-)

[roosterbear.livejournal.com]

My rule of thumb is: if I would have done it with my wife, I refuse to feel embarrassed about doing it with a man.

I'm totally with you on this one. Cool!

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

I admit I would not deliberately put myself (or a friend) in physical danger, e.g. holding hands in a dark alley while passing a group of drunks. Of course I would have avoided that situation with my wife, too.

The only time anyone ever attempted to hurt me physically was at a public beach in front of other people. I'm unwilling to take precautions in situations like that. Danny and I have been harrassed once, and it has happened to me several other times, but I refuse to be cowed.