Backdated post: August 14, 1994
Feb. 14th, 2005 02:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vaneramosLove and panic
Reflections: M------- and I had already been friends when we inadvertently outed ourselves to one another by attending the same ex-gay conference in 1992. After that we attended the same support group in Toronto for two years. The ex-gay model treated emotional love between men as natural and healthy. My sexual desires were effectively repressed and sublimated.
The mental health effect of denying physical and sexual expression is glaringly obvious to me now. This entry records a panic attack, but I didn't realize what it was until several years later. I didn't know this incident was recorded anywhere, though I recall it clearly. We dined that evening at a restaurant in Streetsville then went for a walk in the woods before hugging and parting.
Reflections: M------- and I had already been friends when we inadvertently outed ourselves to one another by attending the same ex-gay conference in 1992. After that we attended the same support group in Toronto for two years. The ex-gay model treated emotional love between men as natural and healthy. My sexual desires were effectively repressed and sublimated.
The mental health effect of denying physical and sexual expression is glaringly obvious to me now. This entry records a panic attack, but I didn't realize what it was until several years later. I didn't know this incident was recorded anywhere, though I recall it clearly. We dined that evening at a restaurant in Streetsville then went for a walk in the woods before hugging and parting.
