Out in the world

[vaneramos]

Brenna at Fort George


Between 1998 and 2001 I often went days at a time without leaving my apartment or speaking to anyone. It protected me from anxiety and conflict, but also that thing we all crave, intimacy.

I've worked hard to establish better balance between solitude and society. Emerging from hermitage, one must yield control. People are unpredictable. Even grocery clerks can take you by surprise sometimes. The past two weeks have been crammed with activity and contact: my daughters, parents, lover, friends, strangers.

When panic strikes, sometimes I experience the same sensation I get from vertigo: like my pelvis is turning to water. Maybe this comes from the primeval instinct of a submissive individual to cower before an alpha male. Conditioning has taught me to respond differently. One mustn't crumple to the floor during a job interview. But resisting nature requires energy.

March Break has been wonderful, but I'm tired. Today Marian and I will pick up Brenna then spend the night in Toronto. Tomorrow we'll go to the One of a Kind show before heading to my parents' place for Easter.

Then I'll be ready for a few days secluded at home to rest, organize and refocus for the next challenge.

Comments

[robearal.livejournal.com]

I'm having a Road Runner moment, and expecting the cannon to either shoot a cannonball or a flag with "Bang!" on it.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

The March Break that I turned three my family went on vacation to Florida. My brother Bob (who I disliked) was 15 and Mike (who I adored) was going on 13. We visited one of the forts there (DeSoto or St. Augustine?) and Dad took a photo of the three of us boys by one of the cannons. Bob and Mike were hamming it up, Bob standing behind it pretending to light it, and Mike at the other end. I, convinced that Bob was actually going to blow Mike's head off, sat bawling on a rock.

[tbone1961.livejournal.com]

"rest, organize and refocus.."

nice thought!!!!

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Well that's the plan. I need to one in order to keep moving forward.

great pic of Brenna

[djjo.livejournal.com]

Hugs there Van. I hope you have a great time with the girls tomorrow.

A couple people / booths to look out for:
K51 - Silo Weavers
This was the weaver from St. Jacobs we had a great chat with

M13 - Tapestry Line Unlimited - Line Dufour.
She is a great tapestry weaver. I took an intro weaving course from her. It was a lot of fun.

K4 - Lucille Crieghton Designs
A weaver / tailor from Toronto. Great colours / textures in her designs.

G5 - Lilliput Hats
Great store from Toronto. Brenna will get a kick out of some of the caps!

G23 - Lumiere Designs
Custom jewelry. Really nice stuff and very organic looking. Both girls might like the spider necklace. [g]

And there are lots more, but these are ones that I know are great.

have fun! Just got called back to work - blarg.

Re: great pic of Brenna

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I've written those down.

Have a safe flight tomorrow.

happy (really) belated birthday

[dubious-one.livejournal.com]

this dirty poem i wrote today reminded me of you...i remember a long time ago we talked about one of our fantasies involving teasing and restraint.

enjoy your birthday present:

"Please Master or The Necessity of Needing"

Please Master

i'll be heaven, you be hell-
and we'll come up with some ecumenical blame.
if i ask you to hurt me
will you say "no",
just to make the pain a little sweeter?
if i was prostrate to you,
would you let me worship
that divine meaty septor of my lust?
will you tickle my tongue
with just a drop of flesh at a time
not allowing me to devour more than the tip?
will you augment my ravenousness
until i almost explode?
will you punish me if i came too close
to the culmination you coerce out of me?
please master, take this quivering desire
and put upon it a crown of come-stained thorns.
eat me out just enough
to make me moist for your fingers.
probe me until you find that button
that makes my back flail about and shudder.
and if i tell you to stop, please go deeper.
harder.
faster.
if i was upside down
would you torture me?
make me oblivious with your teasing and taunting?
would you choke me with your gagging gear shift
and drive my longing home?
please know master,
i am prone to need more.
and the more you don't give to me,
the more pleasure i receive.

[balunbustingbea.livejournal.com]

"a few days secluded at home to rest, organize and refocus"
What a glorius thing to be able to do. Everyone should do this regardless of whether they think they need to or not. I envy you. I could use some time to refocus. Big hugs Van! Thinking of you often

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Likewise, you have been on my mind.

Got home last night. Glad to be here, but man am I bagged!

I intend to email you tonight or tomorrow.