Ice melting

[vaneramos]

This afternoon: a pond along the route I drive between Toronto and Guelph, at Victoria Road and Maltby Road, Puslinch Township


I'm still high from last night.

This afternoon I ate brunch on the sunny patio at Village Rainbow. Along the drive home, streams sparkled through the ditches. I stopped to photograph. The air was full of remote music, an awakening of silvan spirits.

The past few days I have whined to friends about complicated sexual inhibitions I've felt lately. I missed my old sense of adventure.

Last night shattered some barriers.

I hooked up with a friend I have admired for years. I met his partner, who turned out to be equally hot. People started buying me beer early in the evening, and I had more than I would normally choose, but drank lots of water, too, and have no regrets about the night. I was in safe and respectful company.

The couple invited me to a house party, but I stayed after their other guests left. Threesomes rarely work unless the chemistry works equally between all players, but good fits like this one are among my favourite fantasies.

Without the beer, I probably would have declined the invitation. I'm glad I went, but would prefer to achieve that sense of freedom without relying so much on alcohol.

What's the secret sun that melts the ice?

Comments

[leafshimmer.livejournal.com]

Wow, what a hot scene.

I don't know how to say it without sounding smug, but I'm glad I do not need liquor to enjoy the situation you describe.

hugs, Shimmer

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

That doesn't sound smug. I don't need alcohol to enjoy it, though. I suppose the problem is relaxing and trusting people enough to put myself in that place. Even trusting myself.

[dakoopst.livejournal.com]

What's the secret sun that melts the ice?

For me, it's two-fold: self-confidence and trust in others. If either element is missing, nothing seems to work.

How to acheive? Heck if I know...though I certainly lack the self-confidence more than the trust.

I know this is really kinda repetitive, and you know this, but you have no reason to lack self-confidence, Van. You are beautiful in every way, inside and out, and many people do appreciate this.

The trust in others? You seem to invest it wisely anyway.

In other words, as usual, I have no advice for you...only words from my experience, gladness for your happy time, and assurance in the knowledge that while they may not happen every day, they certainly are repeatable.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Maybe part of the answer is that I'm getting wiser about people and less willing to waste my time on situations that might be unpleasant or even bad for my psyche. It seems my solitary nature is asserting itself. I'm more at peace about certain aspects than others, but the general improvement in my relationships actually makes solitude more enjoyable. Balancing time alone with connection time is the issue, of course.

"They may not happen every day." There's a key point. I used to devote a lot of energy toward pursuing sexual liaisons. Of course most of them were not this good. Maybe once in a while is enough for me now.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Thanks. My thoughts have been with you this week. I be back in the city tonight and down at Timothy's tomorrow afternoon if you feel up to going out for a coffee.

[laura-borealis.livejournal.com]

Wow, that icon could melt ice. Hot buns. :)

I'm glad you had a good time last night. Your post made me smile.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed. :-)

I'm so damned repetitive

[grandiva1968.livejournal.com]

*HUG*

Re: I'm so damned repetitive

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

I never get tired of them. :-)

[freakystyle.livejournal.com]

Perhaps, if the timing is right, you'll be able to play with them again. This time without as much alcohol.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

With a bit of luck, I hope so. :-)