The accompanist

[vaneramos]

Garlic mustard, Alliaria officinalis

At University of Guelph Choir concert several weeks ago, I remembered the accompanist is Betty Maher, a member of my old church. Danny and I passed her in the hall during intermission. She looked right through me. I'm used to church people turning and walking the other direction. I didn't worry.

Until last week. The Rainbow Chorus's usual accompanist is attending a wedding this weekend, so Alison recommended someone else to our director. It was Betty, who accepted enthusiastically.

When Bob told me, I asked, "Did you know she's an evangelical Christian?"

Betty was always eccentric. In a congregation all about Jesus, Betty's life was all about music.

I considered keeping to myself, but Bob said I should speak to her. Apparently she understood what kind of choir this is.

During Wednesday night's practice break, I took a deep breath and went over. She turned with a welcoming smile. We chatted amiably about the choir for a few minutes.

This morning at Guelph Farmer's Market someone came up behind Danny and me, and said hello. It was Betty. She had her son in tow. I introduced her to Danny and we conversed before parting ways.

"See you tonight," we said.

Comments

[lilactime.livejournal.com]

Sounds like maybe she didn't see you or recognize you the first time. Or maybe she was preoccupied. A lot of people wander around in their own heads a lot of the time and just don't see people they know on the street.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Considering other factors I didn't take the time to record here, I'm pretty sure she recognized me. But under the circumstances (a big concert with a semi-professional choir and some professional musicians), I don't fault her for not wanting to deal at the time. After all, she did deal later.

[wonderboynj.livejournal.com]

I hate running into people from my church days, it becomes so fake it just nauseates me.

At my Uncle's funeral, I ran into a lot of them. And they all asked "Where do you go to church now?" I respond "Uh, nowhere." Then they give you the look, it's all just disgusting.

I was thinking about you yesterday. I made a playlist for my iPod of all my versions of "It Might As Well Be Spring" then of course today it snowed :)

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

That snow was ridiculous. It sounds like you got more than we did. Apparently Windsor passed its record for annual snowfall. Keep playing that spring stuff. My CD collection is a mess right now. I need to uncover the one you sent me.

I'm glad my old church community is unconnected with my family. That would be even harder to take.

[ubermunkey.livejournal.com]

I have just finished this interesting book. Of the entire 240 pages the one line that stands out for me is something along the lines of
"you wouldn't care what people thought of you, if you realized how little they do..." I think it is a quote from somewhere else that the author took and used. It struck me tho as my entire life I have tried to fit in to not make waves. Growing up in small town religious america I judged myself before anyone else ever got the chance.

I am retelling this because it struck me so. It could have been she was mentally elsewhere, or it could have been she was slighting you. At either rate, it is a past experience unless you allow it to be more then it was. Man this is seriously scrambled. My intent is solidarity for my brotherman.

What ever you do today. Have fun!

lots o love
connor

[trinapink.livejournal.com]

What was the book? It sounds great.

[ubermunkey.livejournal.com]

some random thing i picked up at a non coporate book store, little local affair called changing hands, let me go get it and give you the title. It was just setting on the staff pick table and I was in one of those really random "oh that looks interesting" modes. (Mr. Phillips) by John Lanchester.

I am done with it and would be glad to snail mail it to you. Give it a new life. It is really a worthwhile read.

Any friend of Van's is a fried o mine.

[trinapink.livejournal.com]

Changing Hands is a great bookstore! Any staff pick of theirs is worth picking up. I used to live there, and that's probably the thing I miss most (after my mother).

That's SO sweet of you to offer. I am just undone that you would do so. I'd love it. It looks wonderful.

E-mail me for my address: trinapink@livejournal.com.

And thanks. :-)

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

One of my most pervasively self-destructive thought patterns is the idea that I am an outsider looking into the important rooms of life, that nobody cares, that I have nothing meaningful to contribute. When people turn away or ignore me, I let it affirm this thinking. And I add to it by withdrawing into my own world. There's nothing wrong with solitude, or having a secret inner place to go for healing, but when I go to the extent of shutting people out, it becomes self-defeating.

I am still having rough days with the medication. It's like I'm stoned, requiring even more effort to socialize. Time to scrap this stuff and start over.

[trinapink.livejournal.com]

I'm glad she's treating you well. It's rather appalling that everyone doesn't. Somehow I doubt their Christ would have snubbed you.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Yes, I know he wouldn't. I'm happy that she changed her attitude.

[queenmomcat.livejournal.com]

I too am going to make what I think is one of several genuinely Christian (in the sense of loving-welcoming-sympathetic) guess and say "She may not have recognized you earlier...or been so lost in thought she didn't recognize you until you were long gone." At any rate, I'm delighted she's speaking to you now.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Considering other factors I didn't take time to relate here, I'm sure she recognized me. But under the circumstances of a big concert, I don't fault her. I'm content that she addressed me amiably at the critical time.

[queenmomcat.livejournal.com]

That's what matters.