Acceptance

Jun. 3rd, 2005 12:11 pm
vaneramos: (Default)
[personal profile] vaneramos





Alchemilla in the garden I planted as a teenager, Tuesday morning

[livejournal.com profile] missprune questioned the aphorism that "You're never given more than you can handle." I question it, too. I'm reposting my comment, because it is a relatively concise statement of one of my core beliefs.
I've struggled with this same question ever since giving up my evangelical faith. One only has to look around to realize that for the masses of humanity things only occasionally work out for the best. Christians believe that whatever suffering we have to endure is only part of the journey on the way to a reward in the afterlife. But I have come to believe that is an empty hope; that the present is the thing we have to hold onto, and make the most of, and that if things don't work out happily it's just a damn shame. I have found some consolation in the philosophy that everything will pass—both trials and joys, life and love, war and beauty, even this world itself. Fighting with it doesn't help, but acceptance offers us the best chance of enjoying whatever washes over us.
This should not be read as apathy, or an excuse to stop working to improve our circumstances. But whatever the outcome of our efforts, we are best to receive them without bitterness.

I'm going camping.

Date: 2005-06-03 04:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] daisydumont.livejournal.com
i like what you have to say. it's been years since i was able even to give lip-service to the kind of belief that seems to comfort many christians. i just don't think god *acts* in the world. (this makes me something of a deist, i think.) in any case, i like this about enjoying what comes to us in the moment.

that's a beautiful photo!

Date: 2005-06-03 04:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vaneramos.livejournal.com
If you haven't read Pilgrim at Tinker Creek by Annie Dillard, I would recommend it. It helped me exorcise fundamentalism and recover a "transitional faith." Her thesis agrees with what you have stated here. In fact, I agree with her. If indeed God exists, it is too wild and incomprehensible for us to relate to the way we traditionally have. And it certainly is not nearly as concerned about us as we are about it. Of course, my motto comes from that book, and relates to my statement here. "These are our few live seasons. Let us live them purely as we can, in the present."

Date: 2005-06-03 04:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] daisydumont.livejournal.com
i've read parts of that book. dillard is such a good writer. "transitional faith" is a concept that surely does appeal! i like your motto, too.

Date: 2005-06-03 05:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vaneramos.livejournal.com
I was referring to a "transitional faith" en route to atheism. It made the process more bearable. But it's hard for me to recommend atheism to any but the bravest hearts.

Date: 2005-06-03 05:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] daisydumont.livejournal.com
oh, i see. no, i don't think i'm likely to make it that far. it's more like i'll camp for long periods of time in the wildnerness rather than getting all the way there. or something. always in between...

Date: 2005-06-03 05:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vaneramos.livejournal.com
I see your tent in a very open place with a wide view of the horizons.

Date: 2005-06-03 05:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] daisydumont.livejournal.com
that's very nice. thanks for that thought!

Date: 2005-06-03 04:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] champdaddy.livejournal.com
Sometimes I find appreciating the here-and-now isn't any easier than hoping for some heavenly reward, but it's a long ways from apathy. Thanks for the brain food.

Have fun camping...

Date: 2005-06-03 05:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vaneramos.livejournal.com
Working on the here and now certainly is difficult, as I know from my experience of depression and anxiety. But I believe it is a more practical and worthwhile approach than dismissing what the New Testament describes as "our light and momentary troubles." I like this aphorism better: "Life is not a dress rehearsal."

I promise to have fun. Heading to The Point.

Date: 2005-06-03 04:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dakoopst.livejournal.com
Ditto what [livejournal.com profile] champdaddy said.

And what a lovely, lovely photo....

Date: 2005-06-03 05:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vaneramos.livejournal.com
Thanks Stephen. Lady's mantle is one of the most photogenic plants I know.

Date: 2005-06-03 07:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rsc.livejournal.com
And I love what it does with water, as shown in that shot.

Oh, and it's the garderner's best friend: a plant that keeps coming back no matter what.

Date: 2005-06-06 01:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vaneramos.livejournal.com
On Flickr there's even a photography group devoted to Alchemilla:

http://www.flickr.com/groups/alchemilla/

Date: 2005-06-03 06:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] poetbear.livejournal.com
actually, that makes you a Buddhist, my friend,
not an atheist.~paul

Date: 2005-06-05 07:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vaneramos.livejournal.com
Actually I disagree with much of Buddhist philosophy. I have also had people try to tell my I'm a pagan, and I'm not. It's arrogance to tell other people what box they belong in.

Date: 2005-06-05 09:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] poetbear.livejournal.com
i didn't mean to try to tell you that.
especially since i believe that exact
same thing. also, i can't bring myself
to believe in boxes, to begin with.
on a lighter note, how was the camping?
hope you had a great time.~paul

Date: 2005-06-05 09:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vaneramos.livejournal.com
It was a good weekend. I probably won't have a chance to post anything today, but certainly tomorrow.

Date: 2005-06-06 04:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] poetbear.livejournal.com
good. i haven't been commenting much lately, but some
of what you talk about i'm frankly not qualified to
discuss. still, i find your photos and posts endlessly
enlightening. have you really pursued working in
professional photography? your photos are certainly up
there with anyone else's that i've seen.~paul

Date: 2005-06-06 02:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vaneramos.livejournal.com
It would take a considerable investment for me to get started in professional photography, but it is a relatively new endeavour for me, and I don't feel confident enough to take that step.

Date: 2005-06-05 07:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vaneramos.livejournal.com
I realize that the idea that "everything will pass" is borrowed from Buddhist philosophy, from Jack Kornfield in fact. I do not see how it conflicts with atheism.

Date: 2005-06-05 09:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] poetbear.livejournal.com
i guess it doesn't. however, atheism conjures up
a different picture in my mind than Buddhism.~paul

Date: 2005-06-05 09:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vaneramos.livejournal.com
Once when I told a new friend (who is also gay and had similar negative experiences in the church, but who had turned out Christian after all) that I was an atheist, she exclaimed, "Oh no, honey! I'm so sorry!"

I was rather put out. I don't find anything pathetic about my beliefs. I suppose many people consider it a bleak outlook. Frankly, at first I found it lonely and frightening. But that has passed. And now on the contrary, I find my experience of the universe grows progressively richer. There is no limit to wonder.

Date: 2005-06-06 04:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] poetbear.livejournal.com
that's true. i think the main problem with any religious organization has to do with our stupid tendency to think that organizations can provide a substitute for thinking and judgement. if you look at my user info, you'll see that i call myself a Zen Baptist. raised one way--changed radically as a teenager, and changed even more since then. religion is something that i've usually made it a policy not to discuss with anyone,
since my beliefs are not part of the mainstream.~paul

Date: 2005-06-04 12:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ubermunkey.livejournal.com
THREE CHEERS!
ONE FOR THE PICTURE
TWO FOR THE WORDS (very well put, i have a personal belief that right here right now, is really all we have)
THREE FOR THE MAN AND THE MIND. (be well Van, and have fun camping)

munkey
out

Date: 2005-06-06 01:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vaneramos.livejournal.com
I've had this motto since I came out, from Annie Dillard: "These are our few live seasons. Let us live them purely as we can, in the present."

Cheers,
Van

Date: 2005-06-06 02:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ubermunkey.livejournal.com
I like that, by purely I am imagining that to mean softly gently harming none. Of course that is just my take on it due to the place where I am now mentally.

lot o love

connor

Date: 2005-06-06 02:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vaneramos.livejournal.com
Her meaning was that we live most purely by staying in the present. Worrying about past and future muddies our experience. But I like your take on it, too.
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