Awards

[vaneramos]

Marian and me


Marian is intelligent, but grade eight was not an easy year. On her first report card she had failing marks in French and social science, barely passing in art. On the other hand she had 90s in math and English. Clearly she could master anything that interested her. But her previous school had turned her off, and she couldn't see any point in applying herself.

I was worried for her, but it wasn't my role to nag her about completing assignments. Every week on the phone she told me everything, and I didn't want to discourage her. Sometimes she gave excuses when I didn't ask for them. But she was fortunate to have several teachers who inspired her, or perhaps whom she inspired. With the right kind of encouragement, she improved her work habits.

At graduation she won three awards: top English student in grade seven and eight, the same in math, and a silver pin for an overall average in the high 70s. I am very proud of her. For the English award, a teacher went out of her way to find a book Marian wanted: Faust.

Best of all she looks forward to going back there next year.

Comments

[noveldevice.livejournal.com]

Congratulations to Marian! I think that time in school is always difficult, good for her for finding ways to be motivated toward her schoolwork.

She seems like a wonderful young woman; you should be very proud of her.

[rfmcdpei.livejournal.com]

She seems like a wonderful young woman[.]

She is.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

The only motivation I ever learned for doing school work was to fend off my mother's incessant nagging. I breezed through with straight A's, but it was a defensive mentality. I never learned good organizational skills, or to find any satisfaction in studying, which served me poorly when I reached university. I see Marian learning things I never learned, especially to look after herself, and I'm very proud.

[mylastsigh.livejournal.com]

WOW!

You must be so proud of her.

I am :)

And she is one beautiful young woman too!

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Very proud indeed. And yes, Marian has been photogenic since the moment she entered the world. It has been fun learning to let her express herself in front of the camera, rather than expecting her to behave a certain way. This is the only serious shot I have from her graduation day. :-)

[mylastsigh.livejournal.com]

peace, brother.

Congratulations all around!!

[teddyb.livejournal.com]

What a great post!

Congratulations to Marian for pulling up her marks, and especially for excelling in English and Math.

Congratulations to her teachers for finding ways to excite her interest in the subjects and encourage her love of learning.

And congratulations to you for finding that difficult balance between wanting to encourage your children to succeed, but also needing to encourage them to be open with you about how things are going in school, and giving them room to find their own way.

Marian is very lucky to have a father like you who lets her know she is loved and encouraged, not just to do well in her academics, but also to grow in knowing herself and believing in herself.

Re: Congratulations all around!!

[susandennis]

teddybtoronto said every single thing I wanted to say (but probably a little more eloquently than I would have....) So I am just hopping into his backseat and going along for the ride...

Ok, I'll add that I love the picture.

Re: Congratulations all around!!

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Susan. It was taken by her mom. We traded cameras.

Re: Congratulations all around!!

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

During the past difficult couple of years, I tried to show Marian she didn't have to be a good student in order experience my love and respect. It was hard to let go of my anxiety when she was failing and expressing apathy in the fall. But I knew it was most important to keep the communication open for whatever challenges lay ahead. I still don't expect scholastic excellence (the awards are a bonus), but I'm pleased for the opportunities that her achievements will open for her.

[artricia.livejournal.com]

You look so proud in the picture, and Marian looks so grown up! This is an inspiring post to me -- I continue to turn over a lot of the issue you bring up myself.

[eloquentwthrage.livejournal.com]

Couldn't have said it better myself.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad. It's one of the benefits of writing earnestly.

[missprune.livejournal.com]

That is terrific, and the fact that she is looking forward to the next year is really the best of all. I speak from experience with my daughter! What a difference that will make.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Yes, in the fall I had the impression she was just glad to get away from home and the school she disliked so much last year. So she was there by default without any real inclination to apply herself. But her reasons for going back in September will be more positive: she likes many of the girls, she likes most of her teachers, she seems to be popular, and she likes the school. It's a strong foundation to build on.

[chrisglass.livejournal.com]

A heartwarming story, and an excellent visual.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Thanks Chris. My exwife took this photo on my camera.

[poetbear.livejournal.com]

that's great, Van! i'm sure you're about
to burst with pride. here's hoping that
the next four years are equally great!~paul

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I believe they will continue to get better for her.

[poetbear.livejournal.com]

:o)
~paul

[apel.livejournal.com]

Well done, Marian! And well done, Van, for not alienating her through constant negative reinforcement. From what you've told me she gets enough of that from others.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Yes, and I believe she has been experiencing lots of positive encouragement from the teachers. Things are bound to get better for her.

[daisydumont.livejournal.com]

that's really great, van. thanks for posting a photo of you and marian together, too. :)

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

I was pleased to get this on my camera, too. My ex-wife shot it.

[quirkstreet.livejournal.com]

These years can be very difficult for bright young people who don't fit the mold of whatever system they find themselves in. Both of my brothers had a tough time at that age, Alec especially. I'm so glad Marian found some resources in herself to keep at it, and support from some good teachers. And as always, I'm SO glad she has you for a father. Her body language in that picture says volumes to me about how she knows she has you in her corner.

In the US, at least, today is Father's Day. What a wonderful picture of a father and daughter for the occasion. :)

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

This is the only serious shot Marian took on her graduation day. Not that that bothers me; I'm quite happy photographing her however she wants to express herself. But I'm also glad we had a sophisticated moment together.

I'm a little disappointed that I don't get to spend Father's Day with the girls, but I'll be picking them up on Wednesday night, and then we'll have lots of time to catch up.

Hugs and congratulations to Marian

[djjo.livejournal.com]

I'm glad she made it through this year. I'm doubley glad she wishes to continue. School can be hard for the smart ones. It's good she has teachers who care. And great that she has you who care for her so much!

p.s. I'd forgotten just how BLUE her eyes are!

Re: Hugs and congratulations to Marian

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

"hard for the smart ones."

How true! School was always such a burden of expectations for me. Only with a few teachers did I experience the pleasure of learning.

You should have seen Marian's eyes the day she was born! I'll have to try turning up some old photos.

Much love to you, handsome. Hope you're having a relaxing weekend there.

[justapostcard.livejournal.com]

Congratulations to Marian on your most excellent year!!!

Wonderful picture of you both!

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much.

[mathan.livejournal.com]

Grade nine, from what I remember, was kind of a magical year for me. Hope it is for Marian. :)

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

I didn't enjoy school much, and grades nine and ten were the hardest of all. But Marian has come into herself much more than I ever did, and seems to get along well with her peers as well as her teachers. I believe next year will be a positive experience for her.

[detailbear.livejournal.com]

Congratulations to Marian for her hard work and intelligent adaptation to a new environment.

Congratulations to you for your own hard work and intelligent adaptation to a new situation.

HUGS.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Thanks Kevin, it has at times been an anxious year, but I think things are bound to get better.

[dakoopst.livejournal.com]

Best of all she looks forward to going back there next year.

That is, indeed, the best of all. :)

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

When I remember what a difficult time she was having in February just coping with the personalities of other teenage girls, this was a very happy conclusion.

[art-thirst.livejournal.com]

Now, that's the image I was expecting. Aren't you both looking very good. :-)

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Heheh, thank you. ;-)

Re: On that note...

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Thank you! The girls phoned me just now, which made my day.

[ubermunkey.livejournal.com]

Wow, that is really a beautiful post.

And the image of the two of you is great. Van she is gorgeous.

be well
and Happy Fathers day

I just got home from a trip to see my dad which was a bit rough.

Had a short but nice chat with Elli this morning.

Came into the computer room once I got home and cleaned up and found a very sweet card from the Mike.

all in all a good day.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

And a happy Father's Day from me, Munkey. So glad to be able to share bits of this journey with you. Wish I were there to give you a very warm hug.

Cheers,
Van